Drive-By Truckers - Mrs. Claus' Kimono lyrics

[Drive-By Truckers - Mrs. Claus' Kimono lyrics]

'm a sinister elf with a sinister plan
Santa's little helper
With too much time on my hands
He's got a fine lookin' wife
For such an old man
I can see her lookin' at me
When there is no one else around
And I'm countin' down the
Days to December 24th
The old mans in his sleigh
I am sneakin' in the back door
She asks if I know what the candy cane is for
While he's slidin' down the chimney
I'll be comin' back for more
Not really worried 'bout the
Old man findin' out
'Cuz me and Rudolph worked
The whole thing out
It's not about vengeance or
Anything like that i just want a little sex
And the old man off my back


Rudy's out for blood
'Cuz he hates the fat old man
'Cuz he caught him in the stables
With his fat little hands
On a female reindeer he likes named Wynona
And the last thing he wants to
See is Santa on her
So we're loadin' up the toy
Sack with heroin and crack
We sent Santa off to Georgia
He ain't comin' back
And we call up an evil green Grinch
To tell him Santa's holdin'
And they'll have him on the chain gang
And the electric chair the electric chair
And there'll be a happy ending
All you girls and all you boys
There won't be no more Santa
There won't be no more toys
There'll be no stoppin' Rudy and Wynona
And I'll be taking off Mrs claus' Kimono
I'll be taking off Mrs claus' Kimono
I'll be taking off Mrs claus' Kimono
I'll be taking off Mrs claus' Kimono
Merry Christmas

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