Dual Core, Remington Forbes - Here to Help lyrics

Welcome to next level tech support
Please press 01 to be connected
To our help desk

All these end users calling
Filling up the queues with
Issues and problems
This user says his computer is crawlin'
The internets slow and he
Can't do his bloggin'
Another one says their password's forgotten
Account locked out and now they can't log-in

Did i say blogging? I meant head-shottin'
Every single server I try keeps droppin'
Cannot win with my ping so bad
Other players pointing fingers blaming
Me for lag (It was you)
So slow, it's a next-gen drag
Messing up my stats every
Map i'm getting fragged

If you will, what's your name bill?
(no, it's Dave) can you type your password
In the username field? (what for?)
I just need to know that
Somewhere on your laptop
That you didn't inadvertently press caps lock
(this is stupid)
Sir no need to disrespect me
I wanna make sure you're typing it correctly

Oh my gosh, can we move along quickly
Reports need finished or my boss
Is gonna hit me
Clearly the problem isn't with me
I can troubleshoot the breeze
Solving problems with ease
Trust me, I only use my shift key
Oh- that was it that fixed me
(Oh man, this guy is an idiot)
What? (Nothing sir)

Man, I got help desk woes
(woes, woes, woes, woes)
From HR to C-E-Os (Os, Os, Os, Os)
Sometimes I think this job blows
(blows, blows, blows, blows)
Come on now, you know how it goes
(goes, goes, goes, goes)
Now back to the show

Finally, now I can check emails
There's a guy claiming that
He can't SEND emails?
Says that he needs help
And he's feeling helpless
He can't send how did he email the help desk?

Here's what happened, my spam filter died
I'm replying to these mails
Where it says unsubscribe
But it must be a lie, or so i get the feelin'
Windows popping up and i can't
Seem to kill 'em
It's not that the client won't
Send or receive it
But the interface is covered and
I just can't see it

Sir try this, sounds like a virus
Disconnect your box from
The network appliance
Boot up your computer hit F8 so
Windows can then start to boot
Up in safe mode
Then run AV scan cause apparently
This rogue code has infected your registry
I hope this can fix it, seems like bad luck
I hope this guy has
Been running daily backups

Daily back what? are my files recovered?
Is that some kind of program?
I've never heard of it
If you don't get my files
Back now then there's trouble
Do i need to spell it out
Cause i'm not being subtle
Oh, no worries, hang on the line
Let me run this antivirus 2009

(fffffffffuuuuuuuuuu)

Man, I got help desk woes
(woes, woes, woes, woes)
From HR to C-E-Os (Os, Os, Os, Os)
Sometimes I think this job blows
(blows, blows, blows, blows)
Come on now, you know how it goes
(goes, goes, goes, goes)
Now back to the show

I was helping out the mother of
A friend of a friend
Of my ex-roomma- forget it, let me begin
She was in need of help
And that much was clear, see
And this so-called friend of
Mine volunteered me
So I called her on the phone
She didn't seem to understand
One single thing I was talking about
I said, "Close all your windows"
She came back and said
"Ok, I closed all the windows in the house"
No ma'am, not those windows
No, your computers aren't gonna get cold
No, that's not how you get viruses
Ma'am, I don't think I can help you

Man, I got help desk woes
(woes, woes, woes, woes)
From HR to C-E-Os (Os, Os, Os, Os)
Sometimes I think this job blows
(blows, blows, blows, blows)
Come on now, you know how it goes
(goes, goes, goes, goes)
Now back to the show

Ok, sir
Now I want you to press any key to continue
(Which one is the "any key"?)

Ok, did you find it? (Aha)
Now click your right mouse button
(I only have one mouse)

Ok, sir, is your computer plugged in?
(I don't know)
What do you mean you don't know
(I can't tell) you can't tell?
(I mean, It's dark the power is out)
Your power is out? (yeah)
Ah man (Am I online now?)