Eminem - Taking My Ball lyrics

Yo, Dre, man make my vocals sound sexy, woo!
Come on, man, come on, man, okay

It feels so wrong 'cause it feels so right
But it's all right, it's okay with me
I'll do my steps all by myself
I don't need nobody to play with me
But if you just give me a chance
I can put you in a trance the way I dance
But don't nobody wanna play with me
So I'm taking my ball and going home, home

I'm that guy, man
Shove a diamond up my hind end
And crush it with my butt
Muscles while I cut vocals
Slut poke holes in ya shirt
Jump in mud puddles
While I stomp mudholes in ya ass, girl
Now let's cuddle
Blood curdlin', you're gurglin'
On your blood, what'll
I do for my next trick? I'm feelin' wonderful
I think I might just do
Somethin' a little less subtle
Shove a fuckin' Tonka truck up
A little kid's butthole feel the wrath of a
Psychopath slash ambassador
Of the Valentine's Day
Massacre slash assassin
I slash her in the ass with a icicle
And leave her layin' in a blood bath while I
Put a catheter in and jump
In the bath with her
In my Spider-Man mask, man, just imagine the
Fun I can have with a strap-on
Stick it up Kim Kardashian's ass and
Make the bitch run a triathlon
Are those pistachios? Damn
I'd like to have some
Laying on the patio, man, rolling a fat one
Shady, drop the magic marker, put the cap on
Goddamn, man
Are you that much of an asshole?

It feels so wrong 'cause it feels so right
But it's all right, it's okay with me
I'll do my steps all by myself
I don't need nobody to play with me
But if you just give me a chance
I can put you in a trance the way I dance
But don't nobody wanna play with me
So I'm taking my ball and going home, home

I'm like Houdini
Tuck my teenie eenie weenie between each
One of my thighs and make
It disappear like a genie
Make the shit disappear like Tara
Reid in a bikini believe me, homie
You don't know the meaning of a meanie
They call me the fruit loop from Jupiter
I'm tryna manoeuvre the
Hoover up in your poop chute
Don't move or ya
Might get it stuck so fuckin'
Far up in your uvula
You ain't gonna know what he was
Tryna do to ya gluteus (Woo)
Totally tubular
Sniffin' glue through a tube in the studio
Now who do ya think is more fruitier?
Wiener smothered in peanut butter
Puttin' on a tube of ya
Eye shadow and man, it looked
Nice, you should've seen it, mother
I think I'll put a piece of
Art on my Visa card then I'll go beat Mischa
Barton with a Cuisinart
Then mosey on over to
Rosie O'Donnell's with McDonald's
Jump on her lap then watch The Sopranos

It feels so wrong 'cause it feels so right
But it's all right, it's okay with me
I'll do my steps all by myself
I don't need nobody to play with me
But if you just give me a chance
I can put you in a trance the way I dance
But don't nobody wanna play with me
So I'm taking my ball and going home, home

Shady, what are you doin' chewin' on a human?
Grab an aluminum bat, hit Heidi
Klum in the back, boom! And
Assumin' the fact that that dude's
In the back room
Usin' the bathroom, vacuumin' a raccoon
Skewin' a rat, a cat screwin' a baboon
You shouldn't ask what is he
Doin' with that broom
You should be glad he ain't leave
You full of stab wounds
You in a trance, I'm back doing my dance, ooh
But they're afraid I might get
Sarah Palin by the hair
And make her wear a bathin'
Suit and take her parasailin'
Shady, why do you gotta pick on the lady for?
Why you make her read eighty-four bedtime
Stories to you in baby talk?
'Cause I'm scared
There's monsters under my bed
Kellie Pickler hid my juice
Box under my bassinet
No wonder my ass is wet
My diaper needs to be changed
You like graffiti, dyke? Well
I can pee-pee and write your name

It feels so wrong 'cause it feels so right
But it's all right, it's okay with me
I'll do my steps all by myself
I don't need nobody to play with me
But if you just give me a chance
I can put you in a trance the way I dance
But don't nobody wanna play with me
So I'm taking my ball and going home, home

Fine, nobody wants to play with me?
Fuck you then, bitch!
You guys are always mean to me anyways
All you ever do is rub gum
In my hair and stuff
You guys are gonna make me-, make me sad
I'm sad i'm gonna cry, I'm crying
I'm going to tell my mom mom!