Flight of the Conchords - You Don't Have to Be a Prostitute lyrics

O-o-o ohooooh
It's a cold night, beneath the street light
There's a man whose pants are too tight
Oh, no, his pants are too tight
(My pants are too tight)
He stands there, an empty stare
Trying to make enough money for
His cab fare home
He'll have to walk home tonight
(Don't have enough for the ride)
The streets are cruel, he tries to act cool
He goes to work with only his one tool
You can put away your tool, Jemaine

You don't have to be a prostitute
No no no no no
You can say no to being a man ho
A male gigolo
You don't have to be a prostitute
No no no no no you can say no to being a
Night looker, boy hooker, rent boy, bro ho
He can't see his way out
(I cannot see my way out)
He can't see his way out
(Male prostitution seems to be
My only option) he can't see his way out
(I cannot see my way out)
He can't see his way out no, no, no, no, no

He's selling cheap thrills
To pay expensive bills
But check your résumé
You must have some other skills
Do you have any other skills? Like typing?

They see him, want him to please
Them, want him to play them
But they don't even pay him
Oh, no, they don't think he's worth it at all
Don't think I know when, he
Tries to bring them home
Maybe that would be a way if he lived alone
Oh, you have a roommate Jemaine
Don't bring them home

You don't have to be a prostitute
No no no no no
You can say no to being a man ho
A male gigolo
You don't have to be a prostitute
No no no no no you can say no to being a
Night looker, boy hooker, rent boy, bro ho