Flobots - If I lyrics

If I hadn't been a quiet introspective kid
If I hadn't been a nerd
Wouldn't have met with him
If we hadn't observed we'd be
The best of friends
That preferred the spoken word to
The toke and binge

If momma hadn't died when I was young
Would me and sis been so tight from jump?
If dad hadn't lost his mind to a disease
Would I be up here asking ya'll to notice me?
In the dark times
Didn't know where the path went
I was close to the edge
Like Grand Master Flash said
It was hands of my friends that held me back
Yes, without them I'd MJ
Keep sliding backwards

Or be a hypocrite like some others have been
If that and the other hadn't happened
Don't know that I'd ever been Brer Rabbit
Asking how many ifs between
Hero and has-been?

If I, if I, if I had only known
That I would be a lamb to the slaughter
Now I know if I, if I, if I had only known
I know, I bet it only makes me stronger

Now I know, now I know
Now I know, know, know
Now I know, now I know
Now I know, know, know

If I hadn't grown up in the 80s
Experiencing the various things that made me
Would I still be standing center stage
Trying to innovate new ways to demonstrate?

If mommy daddy hadn't turned
Off Mork and Mindy
To inform us divorce was pending
Would him and me have spent these
23 years in a frenzy
Moving back and forth with
Such forceful energy?

I remember when I was a little baby
Lying there alone on my pillow casing
Upset already I could feel the aging
The urge to return was debilitating

And maybe I'm still afraid and need to
Cry a little harder for the
World of play things
Stop looking back on these silly day dreams
Sing along with me if you feel the same way

If I, if I, if I had only known
That I would be a lamb to the slaughter
Now I know if I, if I, if I had only known
I know, I bet it only makes me stronger

Now I know, now I know
Now I know, know, know
Now I know, now I know
Now I know, know, know

If I had known what awaited was unplanned
If I had known the blade was
In a loved one's hand
If I had known of the possible injury
If I had known the altar was meant for me

But now I know nobody can predict events
And now I know there's cracks
In the picket fence
Now I know that something else exists
And now I know a life can be built from this

If I had known emotions would still remain
If I had known that time
Wouldn't heal the pain
If I had known the intent of the injury
If I had known the altar wasn't meant for me

Now I know there's treasure
Hidden in these scars
Now I know there's presence in an empty yard
Now I know what it took for me to survive
But now I know where to go to become alive

If I, if I, if I had only known
That I would be a lamb to the slaughter
Now I know if I, if I, if I had only known
I know, I bet it only makes me stronger

Now I know, now I know
Now I know, know, know
Now I know, now I know
Now I know, know, know