Funkmaster Flex, Big Kap, Eminem, Dr. Dre - If I Get Locked Up lyrics

Check check, one two, one two, one two
(Yo, it’s rollin'?)
Yeah yeah yeah, Dr dre up in here
Y'all know what this is
It’s what you've been waitin' for
Funkmaster Flex
Big Kap, Def Jam records givin' it to you
Baby yo, Eminem, show these motherfuckers
What time it is, baby

I used to be a lonely man, only mad
'Til I got a million dollars, shit
Now if I only had
Some fuckin' hair I'd pull it
Faster than a bullet
Out of 2Pac's chest before the ambulance
Came too late to do it
I'm tryin' to grow it back again
It was an accident
I had my back against the fan
And chopped it off in Amsterdam
I hate this straightjacket
It ain't latchin', they can't lock it
So they stapled my hands to my pants pockets
The cell's padded and battered like
Someone else had it
Before me and just kept throwin'
Their fuckin' self at it my head is achin'
I'm dedicated to medication
But this med is takin' too long to
Bring me this se da dation (Come on)
Anyway, I got down with Dre (What up?)
The first man who taught me how
A Glock sounded to spray
Runnin' up and down the street, screamin'
"Fuck the police!"
When you still had your mother's fuckin'
Nipple stuck in your teeth
(You fuckin' baby)
Became a role model after Colorado
Now all they do is follow
Me around and holler, "Bravo!"
Hell yeah, I punch my bitch
And beat my kids in public – suck my dick
Bitch!
I'm sick enough to fuck a man in his face
But I won't
'cause you probably wanna stand in his place
So put a sock in it
Wit' your fake-ass 2Pac image
You faggots ain't tough
You just get drunk and become talkative
(Wanna pf-fight?)
I'm probably the awkwardest alcoholic talkin'
Walkin' like a midget with a
Ladder in his back pocket
So when you see me on your block stumblin'
Mumblin' a bunch of dumb shit
Like my drunk uncle does
I ain't buzzed, I'm just high on life
So why on Earth would I need
Drugs when I fly on kites?
Motherfucker! Slim Shady (Dr dre)
I'm drunk, pass the TEC

'Cause if I get locked up tonight
Then I might not come home tonight
Keep it movin', off and on, Eminem is on
(Hey) off and on, Dr dre is on
'Cause if I get locked up tonight
Then I might not come home tonight
Keep it movin', off and on, Eminem is on
(Hey) off and on, Dr dre is on

The whole entire world can sit and
Twirl like a whirling tire
I set a fuckin' girl on
Fire with a curling iron
Psych! I'm just jokin', for Christ's sakes
Don't get so bent out of shape 'cause
I went out and raped six girlfriends
Some people just don't get it
But I won't let it upset me
'cause they don't know better
They don't know what the fuck it's
Like to be so fed up
And fed so many uppers you're
Down and won't get up
My mind's got a mind of it's own
Sometimes I can't find it at home
It hides in the stove (Hello, where you at?)
Shit, talk about your brain bein' baked
My shit's still in the oven on 480 degrés
Hailie Jade, Daddy loves you, baby
Don't ever tell me how to raise
My daughter – fuck you, lady!
You critics wanna criticize
But couldn't visualize
Individuals lives through a criminal's eyes
(Fuck y'all)
The neighborhood that I grew up in
You could die for nothin'
And Dirty Dozen watches over me
So try some dumb shit
I'll have a fuckin' man raped with a Band-Aid
Over his mouth and shove his
Head in a fan blade
Don't ever tell me what I can
Or what I can't say
Or change 'cause of the age
Range in my fan base
Like I give a fuck who's buyin' this shit
Quit fuckin' buyin' it, I'm tired, bitch
I'm dyin' to quit hip-hop is universal now
It's so commercial now
It's like a circle full of circus
Clowns up in the circuit now
But now the white kids like it
So they tell me I can buy it
But as soon as I get on the
Mic it's like the night gets silent
Either that or booed
That's why I keep an attitude
And go to sleep with it and
Wake up with it every afternoon
I'm sick of bein' judged, fuck it
Let me see a judge
I'll confess to every murder I
Committed since three years old

'Cause if I get locked up tonight
Then I might not come home tonight
Keep it movin', off and on, Eminem is on
(Hey) off and on, Dr dre is on (Ayo)

Fuck that, turn that shit off
Let's get the fuck up outta here
You know how we do