Futuristic, Jerrin Jaramillo - Fighting With Myself lyrics

Sometimes I wanna lay in bed alone
Sometimes I wish that you was in it too
Sometimes I wanna hit the studio
But then again, I ain't in the freaking mood
I tend to push everybody I love away
It's like I can only deal with one thing at a time
But that fucks me over in a long run
Because eventually, I usually change my mind
It's time that I made a decision, things is different
Closer to my dreams, but I feel like I'm a never get it
I've been persistent and gained some wisdom from two way trips
And I don't know if I wanna be Zachary or Futuristic
All the bitches predictable and they so persistent
Keep you in my vision, to move forward with no commitment
I tend to think too much and argue with myself
You did your best, for what's worth
Leave me alone, you cannot help

I keep fighting with myself
Leave me alone, no one can help
You did your best, for what it's worth
I feel so small on this earth

Yo, lately my emotions taking over
I'm having suicidal thoughts
Staring at all these white walls
I know it sounds kinda strange
But there's pleasure and there's pain
Running through my veins
Every single time, that I write songs
I wanna rip my fucking hair, up out my skull
Reading messages, from labels
Then waiting, hoping they might call
I pour some poison in the water, out in Hollywood
Hoping some of these wack rappers drink the shit and die, oh
That's the least of my concerns, really
Cause I turned out to be everything, that I hated most
An asshole with a lot of ho's, that I'm fucking with
But still I keep a chick that's so deep in love that she'll never know
I fucked up and came inside her, I should be a father
But I aborted my only child, that I'll never know
A lot of secrets I should keep them, but I leak them
Cause without honest words
I feel like my music ain't gon' never grow