Gaelic Storm - Never Drink 'Em Dry (Johnny Tarr’s Funeral) lyrics

Now I'm sure you've heard the sorry tale
Of the day when
Johnny fell, but here's a side
Of the story, boys
You might not know so well
When the hullabaloo was over
That night at the Castle Bar myself and the
Five Cork Women had to bury Johnny Tarr!
We rolled him out the door to the morgue
At Bishopstown, we asked if
They'd cremate him
But the coroner wore a frown
He sadly shook his head and said
"Your plan won't work so well
There's so much booze inside his veins
He'll blow this place to hell!"
So if it starts raining and
The thunder rumbles loud
Johnny's fallen up in heaven and
Landed on a cloud
His tears are falling as he laughs for
He knows that when you die, in
The big! Pub! Way up in the
Sky! You'll never ever, ever, ever
Ever drink 'em dry!
We finally got him out the door and
We propped him ag'in the wall
But we couldn't find a big enough
Hearse to carry him at all
We rolled him to Cobh Harbor, for a burial
At sea, we found the Irish Navy
They had all gone home for tea
So if it starts raining and
The thunder rumbles loud
Johnny's fallen up in heaven and
Landed on a cloud
His tears are falling as he laughs for
He knows that when you die, in
The big! Pub! Way up in the
Sky! You'll never ever, ever, ever
Ever drink 'em dry!
So once more we slowly rolled him
To the pub where he
Lived and died, we went in
To drown our sorrows
And we left the corpse outside
When we stumbled out at sunrise, he
Was white as any sheet
There was Johnny frozen solid in
The middle of the street
So we covered him in concrete
And forevermore he'll stand a
Pigeon on his baldy
Head and a pint glass in his hand
The passersby all give a shout to
The Saint of Lager Lout
"Please treat him as a Roundabout!"
Yer man named Johnny Tarr!
"Please treat him as a Roundabout!"
Yer man named Johnny Tarr!
So if it starts raining and
The thunder rumbles loud
Johnny's fallen up in heaven and
Landed on a cloud
His tears are failing as he laughs for
He knows that when you die, in
The big! Pub! Way up in the
Sky! You'll never ever, ever, ever
Ever drink 'em dry!