Greydon Square - Dear Journal lyrics

The following entry is based on
Actual events in my life
For those who was wondering
Yes this really happened

Dear Journal I don't even know what to write
Today was just another really bad
Day in my life
I feel like cryin' but honestly
I done run outta tears
So many thing have happened to me
I done run outta fears

Damn it's hard bein' 16 knowing it's just me
I'm convinced that every one in
This world is against me
Why don't these people just
Stop bothering me?
Would they stop if I swallowed
A bottle of Tylenol 3?
Cuz honestly I'm seriously thinking about it
Hell everywhere I go I find
Me thinkin about it
Damn Journal why is this the
Only option I have?
Other than going back to school
And gettin' bullied in class please, help me
You are the only friend that I have
Other than the imaginary ones I've
Had in my past
You know what? It's probably better to die
I'll write in you tomorrow and let
Ya know what I decide dear Journal
Why do things have to be this way?
Sick of feeling this way I
Wanna leave this place
Please Journal, make these people go away
Before I pull a Columbine and
They get blown away why Journal?
Why it me why does it have to
Be me instead of someone else's child?
Why Journal? do you not answer my thoughts
I guess I just deserve to die

Dear Journal
Guess what I got some really good news
I was walking through a park today
And found a gun after school
Man I'm excited I don't even know what to do
Should I use it on my self or
Should I take it to school?
Man this is cool you should
See the barrel and trigger
Better yet Journal you should taste
The barrel and trigger
I know I did in fact soon
As I got to my house
I ran straight in to the bathroom and
Stuck it dead in my mouth
Pulled the hammer back gettin
Ready to squeeze
Laughin and cryin the at the
Same time on my knees
But something told me "No, Please don't go"
And while I was hesitating some
One knocked on the door
I got scared, took the gun out of my mouth
Put it back in my pocket grabbed
My backpack and got out
Smiling cuz I know next time
I'll be better about it
Heading back to my room so I
Can tell ya about it

Dear Journal
Who do things have to be this way?
Sick of feeling this way I
Wanna leave this place
Please Journal make these people go away
Before I pull a Columbine and
They get blown away why Journal?
Why it me why does it have to
Be me instead of someone else's child?
Why Journal? do you not answer my thoughts
I guess I just deserve to die

The only thing we ever needed was
For somebody to love us
Pay attention to these kids
Some of them need help help 'em
Love em' or they'll end up like me