Homeboy Sandman - Mambo Tail Tale lyrics

This story is based on true events

Loosely based

I stepped into the spotlight, kinda uptight
I don't really like the spotlight
I was just there cause my main
Guy asked me to stop by
To celebrate the union of he and his wife
I was like "fine"
Wasn't really trying to leave
Him high and dry
But, I was only there to say "Hi" and "Bye"
Wasn't really trying to hang around all night
Bye and Bye
Pretty young thing went and caught my eye
They opened up wide
My oh my! This chick is just
About as fly as I am
One of a kind, shorty look dime
5 plus 5, 1 plus 9
Chilling in the cut like iodine
I rose up right, shimmied by her side
Started talking that jive (Hello)
"Hi, I'm Sandy"
"You're fine, we can be fine and Sandy"
"That'll be fine and dandy"
"I really can't stand it to see you standing"
"We should be dancing
That'd really be outstanding"
She looked me in the eye
And said "chill, loco, what I look like?"
"Some old, silly, old video ho"
"Like I'm here to dance with any Joe Schmoe"
"Make me touch my toes? Oh, noooo!"
"I don't dance to this garbage"
"This shit is retarded"
"You better beg pardon, pronto"
"Adios muchacho, unless you dance mambo"
Now, I don't really know how the mambo go
I don't know if you mambo fast
If you mambo slow, if you mambo both
Shorty looked fine though
I was trying to, kick it like Tae Kwon Do
So I said, "hell yeah, I can mambo, miss"
"I am very head honcho-ish"
Now of course I'm just talking shit
Why she gonna call my bluff?
This DJ playing all that Sambo stuff
He ain't gonna play no mambo cuts
At that point the shit just got bugged
Shorty threw her fingers up
Snapped them once
Out of nowhere, some dudes just rolled up
One had a trombone, the other had drums!
(Fuck) this point, I got scared
Homegirl obviously came prepared
I thought the bouncers might
Spring into action
They ain't do jack shit, they just stared
The DJ made an announcement:
"Everybody clear the dance floor please, "
"We got a special visit from the Mambo Queen"
"And she about to show you
How to mambo pro-per-ly"
Then a spotlight shined and it
Landed on her and I
I wished that I could run and hide
Instant-ly, my hands got clammy
My mouth got dry
Put in a bind because of my little white lie
I was feeling contrite
But, I am not the type of guy to take flight
When the stakes get high
Said "I might as well try"
(Might as well give it a shot)
A dude start playing the congas
Another dude starts strumming the bass
A chick starts shaking maracas
The crowd went bonkers
Apparently, the band was quite popular
It'd be improper and I'd be remiss
If I ain't point out the fact
That when the dude played the sax
It went a little something like this:
Saxophone break

(I was a little nervous but I said:)
("You know what? Just dig inside yourself")
("And find what type of mambo
You got in your spirit, in your soul")

Broke from out my B-Boy stance
And I extended my hand and she grabbed it
Then we started moving side to side
Kind of synchronized like we planned it
Then I started putting it down
I started spinning her around real rapid
Then I threw her up in the sky
They thought I threw her too high
But then I caught her in
Stride when she landed it was fantastic
I was going in hard like the race car dude
From "Dancing With The Stars"
No bullshit, went into a backflip
Landed in a full split
The crowd broke out in applause
I was just a natural
Me and homegirl got a standing O
They cried for an encore more than once
But we had to run back to her place
She gave me the bunsthe End