Icon For Hire - Hope of Morning lyrics

My mind's a kaleidoscope, it thinks too fast
Blurs all the colors 'til I can't see past
The last mistake, the choice I made
Staring in the mirror with myself to blame
Sometimes I'm afraid of the thoughts inside
Nowhere to hide inside my mind
I'm scared that you'll compare and I'll
Look a lifetime past repair
I second guess myself to death
I re-solicit every step
What if my words are meaningless? What
If my heart's misleading this?
I try to capture every moment
As it comes to me
Bottle up the memories and let
Them keep me company

When the hope of morning starts to fade in me
I don't dare let darkness have
It's way with me
And the hope of morning makes
Me worth the fight
I will not be giving in tonight

When I'm old and grey, or thirty
Or whatever happens first
I'll need you to reassure me
I didn't waste a verse or worse
What if my life's work is
Reduced to just myself
Like never let you get a word in
While I dissect my mental health
Or lack thereof, whatever
There's too many things to track
I really can't remember if
I'm insane or insomniac
Now days, all the kids want crazy
Wanna diagnose themselves
Trade up made up epidemics
Pass around prescription pills
But my disorder can't be cured
By a bottle, blade, or dose
Self-disgust and selfishness tend to
Hold me awfully close
But I don't wanna let you see that
I don't want my friends to know
Self-disgust and selfishness take me
Everywhere I go

When the hope of morning starts to fade in me
I don't dare let darkness have
It's way with me
And the hope of morning makes
Me worth the fight
I will not be giving in tonight

Try as I might to keep it together
Why is recovery taking forever?
Fool the whole world, just until I get better
I'm terrified I'll be faking forever
(Faking forever) on and on I wonder what
Went wrong inside my head
I don't have to have the answers
But tonight I wish I did
All the pain I can't
Explain away won't fade
All the the secrets silenced by the shame
Don't make me say it don't make me say it
Don't make me say it don't make me say it
Don't make me say it don't make me say it
Don't make me say it

When the hope of morning starts to fade in me
I don't dare let darkness have
It's way with me
And the hope of morning makes
Me worth the fight
I will not be giving in tonight