Jeffrey Lewis - Krongu green slime lyrics

Before the land before time
There was a time before land
When the world was just slime
And Krongu was the brand
Yes Krongu green sludge was the popular item
There might have been better sludges
But no-one ever tried 'em

Bought and sold by the platter
Green slime by Krongu
It was the most popular matter
It was the most popular hue
It was from sea to sea
It was from dawn to dark
It had thoroughly cornered all of the market

All other colours were in absentia
Back in BC ten zillion
There was no puce or magenta
Or chartreuse or cerulean
No red, yellow or blue
Well to put it properly
There was green slime by Krongu
It was a total monopoly

If you'd bought stock in there oh for
A while it would have sky-rocketed
It would have been mucho deniro that you
Would have stood to have pocketed
But if you missed out on that ship
Then you have my sympathies kid
Cos Krongu's value dipped as
Those slimy seas did

And land started to pop-up in dribs
And drabs at a time
And creatures started to hop-up from
The oceans of slime
Krongu's grip started slipping with
This slew of innovations
There was now competition from
Some new corporations

There were so many styles
And it all seemed so nice
These miles of aisles of life's merchandise
Some tiny, some giant
Some could chirp some could buzz
Rebellious or compliant, with scales
Feathers or fuzz

Some were stupid as turnips
Some were lowly as corals
Some had high-minded concepts
Dreams and ideas and morals
Some were fanged, some were
Toothless, some were sweet, some were salty
They were popular but useless
They were pretty but faulty

Yes I guess I got fleeced
I got baited and hooked
By each dream and each beast that didn't
Work as good as it looked
'cos each one crapped out and broke
Built to last? forget it
Get a refund? that's a joke
You can't even exchange for store credit

Someone do some muck raking, an expose
A news tip-off
This whole store is a heartbreaking
Fraudulent rip-off
Forget friends, family, dreams, hearts
Trees, birds, dogs, snakes
Forget you, forget me
It's just cheap stuff that breaks

And in the land after time
And the time after land
They'll just roll-out the slime in
The most trusted brand
When push comes to shove it'll
Be Krongu no dismissals, no disbarments
No more tears, no more love
No more crew of disposable varmints

'Cos before the land before time
There was a time before land
When the world was just slime
And Krongu was the brand
Yes Krongu green sludge, was the popular item
There might have been better sludges
But no-one ever tried 'em