Jimmy Buffett - I'm No Russian lyrics
[Jimmy Buffett - I'm No Russian lyrics]
I’m no Russian, not even PRussian
Doorman at the yacht club was
My one claim to fame
Some say I’m nervy, hell, I’m from Jersey
This chasin’ money can do
Things to your brain
How does a shore boy like me
Wind up out on the Black Sea?
Dropped out of Harvard
Then joined the Coast Guard
Manned a faithful fifty on a boat in Gitmo
Did my duty, but missed the booty
I heard that St barth was
The place I should go
How could a coastie like me
Sail off into infamy?
I couldn’t surf or sing or play the guitar
All I ever did was steal an oligarch’s car
My million dollar joy ride was
Not the perfect crime
Those bad boys from Little Odessa
Don’t believe in wasting time
A Lamborghini Elemento ain’t your
Average island car
"Park it close" the driver told me
Sounding like some kind of czar
With a bucket of Cristal
And devil weed inside
I thought it would be crazy
Not to take a ride
Flying through Gustavia, passing Mini Mokes
Gendarmes at the roundabout didn’t
Get the joke
Speeding down the hill like a Dassault Mirage
Parked it on the runway and
Headed for la plague
Bar on fire, den of desire
Dancing on a table, she was waving me in
Her name was Kira, she knew no fear-a
Then introduced me to her vampirish friends
I’d never seen such a girl
Was she from some future world?
Over thousand dollar vodka and
Kilos of caviar i told them how I’d
Commandeered the oligarch’s car
They were laughing
Speaking Russian and getting over served
When Kira looked at me and said
"could you take us round some curves?"
A chick drone strike is a lethal attack
You never see it comin’ and
You can’t fight back
They feel entitled to all access
From clubs to army camp-as
If you don’t believe it
Ask those generals down in Tampa
The KGB and coppers soon joined the chase
Spectators lined the roads like
A Grand Prix race
Dropped the girls at Ti St barth to
Get them out of the commotion
Then I missed the curve at Toiny
And drove into the ocean
Underwater, my world is sinking
Will I wind up like Pussy Riot
That’s what I’m thinking
Feeling foolish, my fate’s a mystery
Don’t want polonium rolled up in my sushi
Oh baby Jesus, come through
I am in need of rescue
Now we can’t leave this white
Boy drowning in the dark
What the hell was he thinkin’
You don’t fuck around with sharks
Turns out the lovely Kira held
A most important tool
It was her daddy’s Lamborghini and
She saved that crazy fool
No he couldn’t surf or sing
Or play the guitar
They made an artificial reef out
Of the oligarch’s car it was Kira
Lovely Kira who got him off the hook
Then they took her yacht to Istanbul
Just to take a look
No, I couldn’t surf or sing
Or play the guitar
All I ever did was steal an oligarch’s car
My million dollar joy ride was
Not the perfect crime
But I’m not dead, still have my head
This margarita needs more lime
Doorman at the yacht club was
My one claim to fame
Some say I’m nervy, hell, I’m from Jersey
This chasin’ money can do
Things to your brain
How does a shore boy like me
Wind up out on the Black Sea?
Dropped out of Harvard
Then joined the Coast Guard
Manned a faithful fifty on a boat in Gitmo
Did my duty, but missed the booty
I heard that St barth was
The place I should go
How could a coastie like me
Sail off into infamy?
I couldn’t surf or sing or play the guitar
All I ever did was steal an oligarch’s car
My million dollar joy ride was
Not the perfect crime
Those bad boys from Little Odessa
Don’t believe in wasting time
A Lamborghini Elemento ain’t your
Average island car
"Park it close" the driver told me
Sounding like some kind of czar
With a bucket of Cristal
And devil weed inside
I thought it would be crazy
Not to take a ride
Flying through Gustavia, passing Mini Mokes
Gendarmes at the roundabout didn’t
Get the joke
Speeding down the hill like a Dassault Mirage
Parked it on the runway and
Headed for la plague
Bar on fire, den of desire
Dancing on a table, she was waving me in
Her name was Kira, she knew no fear-a
Then introduced me to her vampirish friends
I’d never seen such a girl
Was she from some future world?
Over thousand dollar vodka and
Kilos of caviar i told them how I’d
Commandeered the oligarch’s car
They were laughing
Speaking Russian and getting over served
When Kira looked at me and said
"could you take us round some curves?"
A chick drone strike is a lethal attack
You never see it comin’ and
You can’t fight back
They feel entitled to all access
From clubs to army camp-as
If you don’t believe it
Ask those generals down in Tampa
The KGB and coppers soon joined the chase
Spectators lined the roads like
A Grand Prix race
Dropped the girls at Ti St barth to
Get them out of the commotion
Then I missed the curve at Toiny
And drove into the ocean
Underwater, my world is sinking
Will I wind up like Pussy Riot
That’s what I’m thinking
Feeling foolish, my fate’s a mystery
Don’t want polonium rolled up in my sushi
Oh baby Jesus, come through
I am in need of rescue
Now we can’t leave this white
Boy drowning in the dark
What the hell was he thinkin’
You don’t fuck around with sharks
Turns out the lovely Kira held
A most important tool
It was her daddy’s Lamborghini and
She saved that crazy fool
No he couldn’t surf or sing
Or play the guitar
They made an artificial reef out
Of the oligarch’s car it was Kira
Lovely Kira who got him off the hook
Then they took her yacht to Istanbul
Just to take a look
No, I couldn’t surf or sing
Or play the guitar
All I ever did was steal an oligarch’s car
My million dollar joy ride was
Not the perfect crime
But I’m not dead, still have my head
This margarita needs more lime