Joell Ortiz - 125 Part 4 (Finale) lyrics

Yeah, dear Lord, why do I feel how I feel?
I could move a thousand bundles of krills
(uh huh) i could hit the lottery for a mil'
Money no longer make me smile it's wild
Stress hurt like buryin your first child
I'm really losin my drive to do this music
If it don't happen after this
I'm through wit it (done)
25, still live at my mom crib, two kids
Ever heard that sayin "So
Smart you're stupid"?
That's me, fourteen and change on my SAT's
Chose the project over college
What a fuck up on the block hollerin at
Bitches like "Fuck you, you stuck up"
But what could a shorty see in a jerk
I'm there when she leave
I'm there when she get back from work
What am I worth? (huh?)
Dennis said my pen could get me out the P's
But he been away for five
So he don't see what I see
Mom's like "Turn that down
I can't hear my TV (shit)
Worryin about them beats
I ain't raised no deadbeats!
Better find you an application boy
Get up on your feet"
Though Mickie-D's was dirty
My rhyme book was neat
Plus I inked my heart and soul in them sheets
But uhh, holla at me though
(word) I'm so unhappy yo
Don't wanna be the dude in the
Barbershop that coulda made it (nah)
In a cypher with young boys
Spittin shit that's outdated
And them niggas walkin away
Like homie was overrated life ain't a bitch
Life is life and I hate it
Never tried suicide
I ain't got the heart to pull it
Know your brain feel pain when
It's stained by that bullet (whoa)
I don't wanna live, yet I don't wanna die
(die) and have God say "You was
About to do it Joell, why?"
(why) daddy, do you even care that
Yo' boy is still alive?
Ain't seen you since '83, hello to you too
(damn) guess I was unimportant
And you had to do you
Sad that I had to guess
That just added to my stress
Moms did her best
Naw fuck that! I don't get it
How could you just go and
Forget that I existed? (your son)
Guess I'm not like you, cause I ain't a punk
(nope) i don't run away from problems
I solve 'em and man up
Mom's said I got a step-brother named Jamell
A older sister as well, forgot her name
Why did we never meet? I was the only child
(uh huh) who wasn't an only child
(uh huh) who felt lonely, wow (wow)
How can I tell my sons about
A grandpa I ain't know?
I'm done with you yo, next topic
I miss you James, I seen
Your daughters last month, they gettin big
(yeah) i know you surprised in heaven
That Yvette had a kid (ha ha)
Wish we could sip, one more blue-y together
In that RX-7, niggas smelt like gas (ha ha)
Still we hopped in the pool
Shopped off and harass
PA ain't the same without you
Whenever me and PO get bent, that's my word
We think about you rollin up your sleeve
That's when we knew you was drunk
Remember that time your armpit
Had that yellowish stuff? (ha ha)
What the fuck was that? Be proud of me
I'm comin up in rap
Just waitin on my dough, you know the biz
What up with Miz? Tell that
Nigga I said whattup
DeVon gettin better in B ball
His tall ass tryin' dunk
Through this gift right here
I promise to stay in touch
One, when will this bus come? Been
Waitin on this ride for years (years)
All my shirts is stiff, from the driest tears
What the fuck? I'm nice
The world need to know
The comments on HipHopGame say "Honestly
He should blow" (Joell)
All these meetings is lame
Every one is the same (where we goin?)
I pop in my demo and everyone goes insane
Walk out the buildin
Head higher than cocaine
Only for me to never ever
Hear from them again (damn)
That's why I contemplate puttin my pen away
But, I don't
Cause muh'fuckers did the same shit to Jay
(word)
Coincidence? Nah, I don't believe in those
Shit happens for a reason, if this was meant
I'll know
What do I got to do Lord? My songs is tight
(uh huh)
My shows is jam packed, I'm Hip-Hop's anthrax
(sick)
Nobody can touch me but I'm still in the hood
How could you leave me around danger
When your boy's this good?
Patience is a virtue but enough is enough
By the time I get on I'll
Be too tired to celebrate
Yeah I know I'm lyin
I'll wake up when I get that cake (ha ha)
First thing I'll cop is a
Plane ticket and skate (fly)
I don't care where, just far away from here
(gone) turn my phone off
Unfold my beach chair and just stare
(Look at this shit) Like hell yeah, life
Told you we twinkle our toes
In the sand that's white
Last one to the ocean is weak
And swim in the water that's clear enough
To stand up and see your feet
But that's only if, if "If" was a CEO
We'd all have a deal
(huh) we'd all sell a mil' (word)
I'm talkin to underdogs who feel how I feel
Well y'all can't feel how I feel
But you know what I mean
Right now I can only write
About the things I've seen
Sounds sad but, I could fit that in a sixteen
The furthest I've been was LA
For a couple of days can't front
The plane was smoother than the
Front of the train (ha ha)
But anyway, everything ain't okay
I'm tryin live for today
But tomorrow's a repeat of yesterday
Same shit, different Pamper another letdown
But they disguise it this time
With a different answer
The game's scared to gamble and
They know I'm nice
How you gon' double up yo' dough
If you don't roll them dice? It's a 50
50 chance, but in my case, it's 99 to 1 (one)
The one's what I'm gon' say when I'm
Done havin fun with these tracks
Cause yes, it's so so easy
Like readin the Good Book in
A room with no TV
No I'm not braggin, just a confident kid
That ain't reapin the benefit's he
Deserved for conquerin this
This meanin the crowd (crowd) the art (art)
Hip-Hop it'self, I am +The One+
Neo is my son
People, I'm from the bottom just like you
If you ain't from the bottom
No offense but are not who I write to (nah)
I'm the underdog's underdog, I love the odds
(love 'em) joy feels so much better when
The road was hard (ahh)
I can't wait, literally
I'm the epitome of what a
Real MC nigga should be
Follow me (Joell Ortiz)