John Prine - When I Get to Heaven lyrics

When I get to heaven
I'm gonna shake God's hand
Thank Him for more blessings than
One man can stand
Then I'm gonna get a guitar and
Start a rock and roll band
Check into a swell hotel
Ain't the afterlife grand?

And then I'm gonna get a cocktail
Vodka and ginger ale
Yeah, I'm gonna smoke a cigarette
That's nine miles long
I'm gonna kiss that pretty
Girl on the Tilt-a-whirl
'Cause this old man is goin' to town

Then as God as my witness
I'm gettin' back into show business
I'm gonna open up a nightclub
Called The Tree of Forgiveness
And forgive everybody ever done me any harm
Why, I might even invite
A few choice critics
Those syphilitic parasitics
Buy 'em a pint of Smithwick's and
Smother 'em with my charm

'Cause then I'm gonna get a cocktail
Vodka and ginger ale
Yeah I'm gonna smoke a cigarette
That's nine miles long
I'm gonna kiss that pretty
Girl on the Tilt-a-whirl
Yeah this old man is goin' to town

When I get to heaven
I'm gonna take that wristwatch off my arm
What are you gonna do with time
After you've bought the farm?
And then I'm gonna go find my mom
And dad and good old brother Doug
Why, I bet him and cousin Jackie
Are still cuttin' up a rug
I wanna see all my mama's sisters 'cause
That's where all the love starts
I miss them all like crazy
Bless their little hearts
And I always will remember these
Words my daddy said
He said, "Buddy, when you're dead
You're a dead peckerhead"
I hope to prove him wrong, that is
When I get to heaven

'Cause, I'm gonna have a cocktail
Vodka and ginger ale
Yeah I'm gonna smoke a cigarette
That's nine miles long
I'm gonna kiss that pretty
Girl on the Tilt-a-whirl
Yeah this old man is goin' to town
Yeah this old man is goin' to town