Jonathan Richman - Monologue About Bermuda lyrics

Jonathan, Jonathan yeah
We want to know somethin' okay
Well have you ever been to Bermuda?
Yes, my band once played down there
What did you like about Bermuda?
Well there was something in the air
That kept soothin me and calming me down
Makin’ me feel better all around
Well it's quiet that far out at sea

Bermuda is about 600 miles
East of South Carolina
That's why I say it's so far

Well down in Bermuda

Down in Bermuda it turned me all around
It turned me upside down in Bermuda
Ding ding, a boomdebaboom

Down in Bermuda i saw how stiff I was
And I changed it just
Jonathan when you say how stiff you were
What exactly are you talkin about?
Ok, I’ll explain it to you don't go away
What it means back then I was in this band
We were playin this kind of stuff there
Back in about 1973, we were in Bermuda and
We had this job at a hotel
Called the hotel Inverurie we were
Playin stuff like this:

Well she cracked and I'm sad
But I won't she cracked
I'm hurt your right

Well she
Cracked i
Won't she did things that I don't
She eats shit eat creepes, get stoned
I stay alone eat health food at home

Nothing snotty about that song is there? No

And she cracked i'm there
I won’t well!
So we were doin stuff like that
And we were ok but, like, we
Had, you know, all kinds of fender
Stuff, and we were goin like
And we were like playin all kinda like
All trip hammers and we were goin

You know like that and the audience
Was goin ’Oh that's very nice’
And stuff you know we were kinda
Serious and everything you know
We had a fair amount of equipment
For a group back then and
Everything and we're just going you
Know this is pretty important
That everyday we're out there

Well! yeah we're knockin ’em dead

Well, the trouble was the people who were
Really knockin them dead were these
Forty year old guys back then I
Never knew that I would
Someday be forty back then that was
Older - 'Hey they're forty year
Old guys!' well I'm gonna have
To change it to 'fifty'
Year old so, in other words there were
People there as old as me! So
And they were the Bermuda Strollers
And they all had
Sunglasses so you couldn't tell when one
Guy was lazy and just
Wanted to lay off that day
Would call up someone else
You know and they'd be the Bermuda
Strollers that day so they
All had sunglasses and you couldn't
Tell who they were

But anyway so we were doin like
A some bermuda Strollers had
Big guitars like this and everything
Like that and they
Were playin more stuff like this
Type of material you know
All the college kids loved them
And they were goin

Bang Bang Lulu lulu ran away
Lulu had to go bang bang
That's why she ran away

Lulu had a boyfriend name was 'Tommy Tukker'
Took him out to his house to see if he could

Bang Bang Lulu lulu ran away
(see it still works! It was good
Then and it still works)
Lulu had to go bang bang
That's why she ran away
And the guitar had this great fat
Sound kinda like this you know

And it wasn't just him the
Bass player was great
Too he was this old guy - old
Guy? sure! he was almost
Forty years old! Hell!
- and he was in a windbreaker
And everthin like that then you know and he
Was just there and he was just goin
You know like when the lead guitar guy -
Their only guitar guy - was goin

The bass man's just goin

And makin it sound way bad
It's boomin and he's great and he's
Just not movin, he's just kinda
Like chewin gum or somethin
Just kinda like you know

He was like the Bill Wyman of the
Caribbean you know he's up there

And I'm watchin this and goin 'Oh
We really are stiff these guys
Really are looser than us'
I'm thinking to myself here's
What I'm thinking: 'oh'

After that trip to Bermuda, you know
That band never got along as
Well after that that was
Really the beginning of the end for us it's
True cause I started getting way
Into that kind of
Stuff you know started buyin
Calypso records and things

You see? It's catchy you
Gotta admit it's catchy

So that's what I mean when I
Say how stiff I was

Ok, now we're getting
Now you can get back to
Your song Jonathan ok thanks

Jonathan Jonathan (yeah what?)
We want to know somethin (yes?)
Well did you wander around Bermuda?
(in fact I did, thank you for asking)
I wandered all around
And the flowers in Bermuda
(ahh the flowers well)
They almost knocked you down (why?)
Because they smelt so strong you know
Oh oh oh (yeah)
And it was springtime when we
Were down there too, oh oh oh
(yes) little petals all around

Down in Bermuda

Down in Bermuda it turned me all around
It turned me upside down in Bermuda
Ding ding

Oh, down in Bermuda
I realised how stiff I was
And I changed it just because in Bermuda

Jonathan Jonathan (yeah, what do you want?)
We want to know somethin