K-Rino - My Laughs lyrics

My head snapped in the worst trap
I see my foes taking dirt naps
For years I've been running full speed but
I'm just finishing the first lap
Is life really about coming up? Or
Is the purpose really about love?
Trouble real easy to get into but
It's hell getting out of
My childhoods all gone now
It's tough standing on my own now
I miss staying in my momma's house
Gotta keep remembering I'm grown now
Got struggles that I got to overcome and
Mountains that I got to go beyond
I'm staggering, disoriented
Feeling all spaced out and I'm the sober one
But, I made it through a lot of long years
It's like the moneys where the wrong is
It's bad when that devil's on your shoulder
But some days I be on his
I'm steady walking down the wrong route
I don't smoke but I'm zoned out
The streets ain't got nothing on the war
That I'm fighting in my own house
From sun up to when the sun's down
My hearts weighing bout a ton now
I exploded like a bomb sound
Everybody telling me to calm down
But, I won't stop until I get enough
My stress cup keeps feeling up
I'm acting like I'm happy
But, I'm about to go insane
Cause the pain's building up

If you only knew the days I've had
The tears that live inside my laughs
Come grab my shoes and walk my path
The tears that live inside my laughs

Am I frustrated? Extremely dirty analysts
They wanna screen me
I've got a storm brewing in my mind but
You'd never know it you've seen me
See I've never been a cutthroat dude and
I've never been too fly to listen
They say that nice guys finish last well
I'm guessing that explains my position
Cos other than this deep harassment
I be shoveling through hate and madness
And theirs trouble in my mental cabinets
Smiles covering my inner sadness
Tryna empty out my whole song vault
Been hit up with a lot of thrown salt
My daddy told me 99 percent of things that
Happen to you are your own fault
I'm hated because I'm not manipulated I
Waited til my mind was liberated
I made it possible for other cats to make
It but the love was not reciprocated
And it's loading up because I never vented
I'm getting more aggressive by the minute
And I don't care how good
And generous you represented
Everybody got a limit
I lost touch with myself it's gone
I'm disconnected like a telephone
I'm tolerating what your saying
But, I'm thinking please
Leave me the hell alone
Some peace I was looking forward to and
Patience is what I'm showing you
Man, I don't wanna take it out on you but
I'm about to click from
What I'm going through

If you only knew the days I've had
The tears that live inside my laughs
Come grab my shoes and walk my path
The tears that live inside my laughs

All my with and I prayed
My inner strength I displayed
When my confidence was hit
By a relentless brigade
Yeah I spent what was paid
Every cent that was made
Flashbacks post dramatic memories bad
Events were replayed
I was lynched and betrayed
Though I'm meant to be saved
But through it all for my
God I will represent unafraid
I never bent and never laid
Hate they sent was like a blade
My existence in the game others tried
To prevent but I stayed
There's no pacifying
The whole world is dying
But whose gonna be the one in you
Gonna wake up that lion
And break up that dying, fist up those eying
Miss who keep trying to
Posses them their defiance
Meanwhile I'm just trying to fight with
The powers of my own vices
Everybody walking 'round lifeless they ain't
Knowing every second's priceless
A civilization in a crisis
Wish that I could turn on a light switch
Tryna get my name on the right list scared
To bust at 'em cause I might miss

If you only knew the days I've had
The tears that live inside my laughs
Come grab my shoes and walk my path
The tears that live inside my laughs