KOTA The Friend - Santa Barbara lyrics

Out in Lake Tahoe, grippin' a Henny bottle
With a beautiful woman I met in Colorado
With a tree in a yard heavy with avocados
Always playin' roles and trying to be the perfect model
I be unavailable, people don't know where I'm at
Doin' what I'm here to do, livin', fuckin' sharing raps
Say that I want happiness but it seem like I'm scared of that
She say she in love with me but I ain't really hearin' that
Hoppin' out my bag, though, lightin' up the candle
Hidin' out in Santa Barbara, feet up in the sand, though
When I'm keepin' busy, I feel like I got a handle
So I'm never idle or I might get suicidal
And when you trustin' nothin', it's nothin' that's gettin' by you
I'm in stealth mode, twenty-four-seven bringin' the wealth home
Liquor, weed, and retail therapy out in Melrose
Hundred thousand messages tauntin' me on my cellphone
I just sit and wonder what is holdin' me back
And why it feel impossible just for my soul to relax
And I'm feelin' so conflicted 'bout this shit that I've been given
I'm livin' to get up out of this cycle that's turnin' vicious, for real