Lady A - Worship What I Hate lyrics

I keep looking at myself in the mirror
Hoping it will change
And I keep wishing for a brand-new body
That I didn't have to blame

I'm seeing every flaw, like a failure
I'm using every cure, like a savior
Like trying to build a church out of all my hurt
When it really needs grace

I gave all my time to nothing
I focused on who I was
Not who I'm becoming
My fears they took up space
My eyes couldn't look away
I didn't even realize
I worshiped what I hate

Half a bottle of red
Just before bed
Is the only way I dream

Before I really wake up
The first thing I touch is a button on a screen
I'm not guilty of leaving, not sticking around
I'm guilty of staying and just checking out
Yeah, I kept my head down and really missed out
On what's in front of me

'Cause I gave all my time to nothing
I focused on who I was
Not who I'm becoming
My fears they took up space
My eyes couldn't look away
I didn't even realize
I worshiped what I hate

Why do the lies feel like the truth?
Why do I do the things I do?
Why do I fight so hard to keep my heart empty?

'Cause I gave so much time to nothing
I focused on who I was
Not who I'm becoming
My fears they took up space
My eyes couldn't look away
I didn't even realize
I worshiped what I hate

I didn't even realize (Realize)
I didn't even realize (Realize)
I didn't even realize
I worshiped what I hate

Didn't even realize
I worshiped what I hate

Didn't even realize, no
Didn't even realize, didn't know
Mmm, yeah