Lana Del Rey - SportCruiser lyrics

I took a flying lesson on my 33rd birthday
Instead of calling you
Or parking on the block where our old
Place used to be

Genesee, genesee,  genesee

Pathetic, I know - but sometimes
I still like to park on that street
And have lunch in the car just to
Feel close to you

I was once in love with my life here
In that studio apartment with you
Little yellow flowers on the tops of
Trees as our only view
Out of the only window
Big enough for me to see our future through
But it turned out I was the
Only one who could see it
Stupid apartment complex terrible you


You, who I wait for you, you, you
Like a broken record stuck on loop

So that day, on my birthday, I thought
"Something has to change"
You can’t always be about waiting for you

Don’t tell anyone, but part of my
Reasoning for taking the flight class
Was this idea that if I
Could become my own navigator
The captain of the sky
That perhaps I could stop
Looking for direction from you

Well, what started off as an idea on a whim
Has turned into something more
Too shy to explain to the owners that my
First lesson was just a one-time thing
I’ve continued to go to classes each week
At the precious little strip off
Santa Monica and Bundy

And everything was going fine
We were starting with dips and loops
And then something terrible happened

During my fourth lesson in the sky
My instructor, younger than I
But as tough as you
Instructed me to do a simple maneuverer
It’s not that I didn’t do it
But I was slow to lean the sports
Cruiser into a right hand upward turn
Scared, scared that I would lose
Control of the plane
Not tactfully and not gently
The instructor shook his head
And without looking at me said
"You don’t trust yourself"

I was horrified
Feeling as though I’d somehow been found out
Like he knew me how weak I was
Of course
He was only talking about my ability
As a pilot in the sky
But I knew it was meant for
Me to hear those words

For me, they held a deeper meaning
I didn’t trust myself

Not just 25
000 feet above the coast of Malibu
But with anything and I didn’t trust you

I could’ve said something but I was quiet
Because pilots aren’t like poets
They don’t make metaphors between
Life and the sky

In the midst of this mid-life
Meltdown, navigational exercise
In self-examination
I also decided to do something else
I always wanted to do
Take sailing lessons in the vibrant
Bay of Marina del Rey i signed up for the
Class as "Elizabeth Grant"
And nobody blinked an eye
So, why was I so sure that when I
Walked into the tiny shack on Valley Way
Someone would say
"You’re not a captain of a ship
Or a master of the sky!"
No, the fisherman didn’t care
And so neither did I

And for a brief moment
I felt more myself than ever before

Letting the self proclaimed drunkard
Captain’s lessons wash over
Me like the foamy tops of the sea

Midway through my forehead burned
And my hands raw from driving
The captain told me the most important thing
I’d need to know on the sea

"Never run the ship into irons"
That’s nautical terms for not sailing the
Boat directly into the wind

In order to do that though
You have to know where the
Wind is coming from

And you might not have time to
Look up to the mast
Or up further to the weathervane
So you have to feel where
The wind is coming from on your cheeks
And by the tips of the white
Waves from which direction they’re rolling

To do this, he gave me an exercise
He told me to close my eyes
And asked me to feel on my neck
Which way the wind was blowing
I already knew I was going to get it wrong
"The wind is coming from everywhere
I feel it all over" I told him
"No", he said "the wind is coming
From the left the portside"
I sat waiting for him to tell
Me "You don’t trust yourself"

But he didn’t, so I said it for him
"I don’t trust myself"

He laughed gentler than the pilot
But still not realising that my
Failure in the exercise
Was hitting me at a much deeper level

"It’s not that you don’t trust
Yourself" he said "it’s simply
That you’re not a captain it
Isn’t what you do"

Then he told me he wanted me to
Practise everyday so I would get better

"Which grocery store do you go to?" he asked
"To the Ralphs in the Palisades" I replied

"Okay when you’re in the
Ralphs in the Palisades
I want you, as you're walking from
Your car to the store, to close your eyes
And feel which way the wind is blowing
Now, I don’t want you to look like a crazy
Person crouching in the middle
Of the parking lot, but everywhere you go
I want you to try and find which
Way the wind is coming in from
And then, determine if it’s from
The port or starboard side
So when you’re back on the boat you
Have a better sense of it"

I thought his advice was adorable
I could already picture myself
In the parking lot
Squinting my eyes with perfect
Housewives looking on

I could picture myself growing a better sense
Of which way the wind was blowing
And as I did
A tiny bit of deeper trust also
Began to grow within myself
I thought of mentioning it, but I didn’t
Because captain’s aren’t like poets
They don’t make metaphors between sea and sky

And as I thought that to myself, i realized
That’s why I write

All of this circumnavigating the earth
Was to get back to my life
Six trips to the moon for my poetry to arise

I’m not a captain, i’m not a pilot
I write! I write