Laurie Anderson - The Healing Horn lyrics

When I was in LA i went
To several services run by
An organization called the Universalist World
Church the services were held
In a huge auditorium
Formerly a used-car showroom the head of
This operation was a man named
Dr j, an Egyptologist
Preacher and recording artist at the
Back of the church he
Sold cassettes he had produced
In his home studio
The cassettes had titles like: "UFOs
And the Creatures Who Drive
Them" His assistant was a tiny
Woman named Miss Velma
A soprano who also administered the
Oil of Youth at the
Healing Horn the Healing Horn
Was an actual horn
Of identifiable origins all set in jewels
When you touch the horn you feel a
Rejuvenating surge of energy
About fifty volts
As long as you happen to be standing on
The metal plate embedded in the altar
The most spectacular event of the
Year at the World
Church was a Christmas service there was a
Giant screen painted with a
Nativity scene there were
Lots of animals painted on the screen
With holes cut out where their heads would be
There was a microphone behind
Each hole during the service
Miss Velma would stand behind the screen
And stick her head through these holes
Using a different voice for
Each animal "Hi i'm
The cow and I saw it all" "Hello
I'm the dove the lovely dove and I
Was there too i saw everything too"
The service would then abruptly cut to
Dr j, who would announce, "First
Miss Velma will
Shoot an arrow through a balloon then she
Will perform an Indian dance and finally
She will perform a
Song for you on the mellophone"
With no further explanation
Miss Velma comes out from behind the screen
First she shoots an arrow
Through a balloon then
She does an Indian dance and last
She performs a song on the mellophone
And somehow it was amazing first he tells you
What will happen and then
It actually happens
Just the way he said it would
Like a prophecy being fulfilled