Lecrae - Wish It Wasn’t True lyrics

Uhh, you I, umm
I know I just got out of rehab, but uh
I actually need to be checked back in yeah
I didn't think this was gonna
Happen to me man

Feel like I'm back in that dark place
Somewhere in between a rock and a hard place
And I ain't doin nothin' bad
I'm just doin' bad
Feelin' empty when I got more
Than I done ever had so I'ma do what I do
Best when I feel depressed
Go ahead and let my pen bleed out the stress
In the margins, me and wifey arguin'
I don't remember why
But basically I ain't washin'
Her in Ephesians 5
She get out of line, I don't show her grace
I get a pen and I trace her
Now we need an eraser

I'm like, God, give me a sermon or a verse
Anything to break the curse I
Feel like it's getting worse
But it's like for every step
Up in the right direction
Come with two swift punches to my midsection
I get discouraged and I question
Is it really worth it
Maybe tryin' to change the world
Isn't really my purpose

I wish it wasn't true but it is, though
Now the kids know
I'm not a hero, but I know somebody who is
Though i wish it wasn't true
But it's very true and if it's scaring you
Look in the mirror
See my reflection instead of you

I can settle and be suburban
Put down the Spurgeon
Be concerned with keepin' my home furnished
Now my fire burns only for my own advancement
Forget a passion for the pastors in Sudan
The kids in Afghanistan
Who be losin' their dads they took a stand
Saying that Christ is more than a man
Man, I got the blues i ain't got a clue how
To get 'em another hue

All I wanna do is escape with a cold brew
Go to sleep and wake up and
Pretend that it's all cool
I wish it wasn't true
But ain't no quick fix on the wish list
Trials make you better while
They make you sick, yeah
I was dyin' to try
Now I'm dying from trying
Now I'm trying to die
To the lies I'm buying

I wish it wasn't true but it is, though
Now the kids know
I'm not a hero, but I know somebody who is
Though i wish it wasn't true
But it's very true and if it's scaring you
Look in the mirror
See my reflection instead of you

How come I wait till I'm downcast and gray
Before I think, Lecrae, you may wanna pray
You may wanna walk in that library
Get one of them commentaries
See what them old dudes got to say
But it's easy to push play on
The YouTube video or the Vimeo
Escape from the menial
Letting all these subliminal messages
Wash me, watch me as I watch these
People tell me what I can
Purchase just to wash these
Blues away, functional savior
I'm getting mine
It's $1999 for a limited time
Besides, after that I'm sure that
I'll be feeling fine - Ok
I'm lying really I'm just dying to try
And for the 55th time times 9
I'm disappointed looking for anything
But the divine
Save me from what I'm feelin' inside
It's like a crime how I end up in the
Same place every single time (Check me in)