Listener - Ozark Empire lyrics

I'd like to welcome all
You suckers to struggleville
Say ahh, open up and take this pill
You'll sit down in your cubicle
And eat when we tell you to
And when your services are
Not needed here anymore you'll clean
Out your desk by noon
And no talking to the new kid
Security will see you all the way to the door
It's like a prison but we pay you more
So you owe us more just lock your
Doors and feel real safe inside
Your house is no longer a good place to hide
Hey, there's no more corner office
Or golfing with the bosses
You have a wife and kids to tell
That you got axed today and
You lost your 401k
You wear your necktie noose so well
And you march just like a natural
(you're natural)
You are just what we're looking for
You're perfect in every single way
So come and join our little army
Of high class, beautiful, intelligent
Talented, well-adjusted, clean, listeners
You're all so clean unless you're dirty
Have you got a headache, cold, or aneurism
Working on a heart attack, with bad vision
Back hurts, can't breathe right
Afraid to fall
Arthritis, hemorrhoids, high cholesterol
Embarrassed by your bad skin
Not good with the ladies
Don't quite fit in, too fat, too skinny
Way too tall bring all your problems
Because this will cure them all
This will cure em all
This might cure some of them

It's ok, you're not a loser, you've just lost
You'll get used to second best
When considering the cost
You have to be born first, learn
And grow up fast
Work hard, love, and then come in last
And then
Work harder, for someone else's dollar
And at the end of the day
All you can do is borrow
Plastic saves lives when it's
A hard hat people it's a mad world already
You're not making it easier
We've got the cure, we made the medicine
We have your answer
It'll give you a headache
But it will fight all your cancers
So, take two of these and call me every hour
There will be some internal bleeding
So just don't shower
If you're invisible or feeling miserable
This is what you need
If you feel the need to breathe
And just can't quite succeed
You are the target audience indeed
First off, you have to listen really
Really well
Try and discern what it is we have to sell
Just some smoke and mirrors with good
Looking people all around you
The way you do it is wrong
I'm glad we found you
Bait and switch, caveat emptor, fine print
Fine print so sign right here and everything
Else will be sent to
Your house in 12-16 weeks and
Depending on the postal
Service it might take a few more weeks
Don't worry we do this all the time
We're professionals
Just make sure you read the sign

Have you got a headache, cold, or aneurism
Working on a heart attack, with bad vision
Back hurts, can't breathe right
Afraid to fall
Arthritis, hemorrhoids, high cholesterol
This will cure it all this will cure it all
This will cure it all
But just keep your reciept
There are no returns, or refunds
And I'll repeat this will cure anything
Just remember that just remember that
Just remember that just remember that
Just believe that