Love-sadKID - Ephemeral lyrics

Yo sitting back til I'm kicking the bucket
Went through enough of this running
Crawled through a lot of those trenches
Still I can't ever warm benches
I been, slouching too much I still
Can't ever take a break, it
Was too long to get it started now I gotta
Hit those same steps
Can't just double backwards - relapse
Change up the sound for these tracks
Never forget where I'm at
Never forget what it took
Taking too long to get my mom
A house I'm sick about it
Bet I'll get that deal and in a
Year they'll never think about it
Gone, bound to be famous
After I die they'll see my light for ages
Star since I was born my pops he
Prolly thinks I'm bound to make it
Swear he's been my number one fan
And he'd write an affidavit
Save if I forgot where I was
From then he'd rescind the statement
Gone is the vacancy that used
To be so soul shaped
Finally found my goal and got so
Lost in what the road paved
State to state I'm tryna get my
Name lost in the ledgers
Hitting ceiling after ceiling still I
Know I could do better
This a story of one who still
Is growing way too fast
To decide just who to be and
Still is confident they'll last
I don't got no time for looking side
To side or glancing at my past
Gotta trail to blaze a pilgrim in
My ways in every facet
Still I'm chopping on these tracks
Too caught up in what I'm rapping
Hope, I don't lose traction
Feel it in my person every
Pound or inch or fraction
If I want it like I need it
Then I really gotta have it
I ain't never gonna be a unlit match
Or a candle with a wick
I got too much on my back
To ever worry bout the wind
Never rushing it too much I hope
I keep my wit's about me
I just wanna make my family wake
Up in the morning proudly
Gone are the days where I wake
Up just to get to school
Fiddling with my jacket hoping that
I might be finished soon
Scared I'll burn too brightly too fast
And just end up outta tune
But honestly I hope that this
Music just ain't ephemeral

I just really need to pace myself
Settle down for a bit and behave myself
Don't get lost again that stuff
That makes me hate myself
I just hope that I don't
Ever try and erase myself, kiD