Love-sadKID - Glades lyrics

Winter, spring, skip to fall
Wonder how the lovers change
This is just a dance with death
A wander through the summer glades
Roses dying, autumn leaves
Dreaming about the lifeless trees
The smile that you wear around
Can never seem to hide a thing
Wait, I may be careless
When I'm taking a breath
Another step to check direction
But instead I'm a mess
Another trip to see the doctor
About the state of my head
What we can't fix is what
We leave up to meds
I feel like there's nothing left
Let me fall
I'm just not worth my weight in rope
They call me Midas, I'm a douche
Who used a face that's made of stone
Matter fact, when I'm asleep
My dreams can't even make up gold
I hope the time I take a dose
My windpipe makes me try to choke
But I promise I'm not suicidal
Swear it true
I'm only here because they idolise
These idle lies I tell
And every day is just an endless cycle
Time to time it spins again
And through this pen I find this time
To write this hell I live, it's useless
My two cents means nothing unless
It's on a beat haunted by the numbers
Yet I'm blessed they try to follow me
Feeling hopeless, I have memories
Of things that used to bother me
Where I never had to get it out
On drum loops and piano keys
This endless reminiscing
Has me less than optimistic
Shallow in the deep end
But I'm drowning start to finish
They only care about the artistry
What am I fucking kidding
I should've never wrote this
Song to begin with
Cause everything just falls around me slow
Burning bridges just to keep my
Heart from staying cold
Everything's the same song, different flow
If you didn't know
Penning to a beat is getting really old
They love the thought of me
Parts of me they pick and choose to love
And then depart from everything that seems
To look a bit soft
They only point out what I'm missing
But it tends to have trust
Because I lost every bit when I used to love
Damn, isn't that rough
I know that I'm not enough