Macklemore - Fake ID lyrics

Ladies and gentleman, my name is
Macklemore this is my music, and it feels
So damn good right about now check
It, I got a story, yo
It goes a little something like

When I was seventeen I was staying in NYC
And my homie told me where I
Could get a fake ID "Ayo, son
You better get that shit when you in NY"
(okay)
So I hopped on the subway and I gave it a try
To my pleasant surprise the ID looked fine
5'9", blues eyes
Born in nineteen-seventy-nine (just right)
Nervous as hell
I went to the store with my homie
Came out and yelled "Dawg, they sold me a 40"
Yeah, you know that I was the man
Buying liquid contraband with a
Fake ass hologram no more looking for bums
Standing in the rain
Stranded on Broadway and giving
'em all my change
For the rest of the summer man I was on fades
Seventeen, had it made
Getting drunk everyday
Ayy, I got treated a whole new way
Because of a piece of plastic that
Proved I was of age

You know what I'm saying
All of a sudden you get
This little piece of plastic
And you're in the club seventeen like bah!
Check it out, it's like this, yo

Now for the next three years
I had so much fun
Getting drunk in Hip-Hop clubs where
You had to be twenty-one
Then one day I was walking and I saw a sign
That said KRS-One twenty-one up and live
That's hella tight
Ayo I heard he always ripped it
So I hopped up in my Civic and
Went out to buy a ticket
When I got up the the
Door the bouncer checking ID's
Looks at mine and he's like "Nah
We don't take these"
I tried to reach and grab my shit back
But the mother fucker was tougher than Shaq
On crack i should've punched him
But I would have reached his knee cap
And that probably wouldn't have
Hurt him very much
He kept laughing and smilin'
He called me a dumb shit
And if I would've let myself I
Would have cried in public
Oh, no, I'm like "Give it back, bro!"
But no
My ID was jacked by the Caucasian Deebo

Ha I'm laughing right now but
At the time it really
Was not funny and it's still
Not very funny fucker

Bitch why you got to take my ID?
Why do I have to be 21 to
Drink a Long Island Iced Tea?
I hate bouncers with their bald heads
And ten foot tall legs
And shirts that they outgrew when
They were like ten get 'em
Your mother is dumb for having you
You're a bouncer because you
Have a small dick
And as a kid everyone laughed at you get 'em
You're too big and you never seemed to listen
You look injected with the shit
They give to KFC chickens get 'em
I don't like ya, at all I despise you
If I was tall I would fight you
If I was a dog I would bite you
Every single day you make people cry
And your job is to go
And ruin teenager's lives
Ok I'm going too far bouncers aren't all bad
I'm sure they make great husbands
And really strong dads
But hopefully you learned a lesson from me
Never take an MC's fake ID
Yup, I said never take an MC's fake ID
You could be buff and tough
It don't matter to me
Cause you're going to get burned
If you step to MCs