Macklemore, Ryan Lewis - Stay at Home Dad lyrics

"Alright baby girl, lets sing to it"

You're getting your degree
You're going to college
I'm making music and hoping that
Kanye puts me on
But, If I don't make it baby
Would you be mad at me?
If I just chilled at home
As your stay-home daddy?

Come on, I'll make you coffee
(coffee) , and a bagel (bagel)
And another bagel (two bagels)
Keep on reading that paper
Then it's off you go
"Hun, you're gonna be late
Don't forget your briefcase, drive safe"
("Peace, babe")
Wake up the kids, toast the toast
Put the Raisin Bran up in the bowl
The toast did I forget the toast?
The toast is toast, dammit, I burnt the toast
Start crying, the kid's like, "Dad
What's wrong?"
"Oh, it's not you, kids, it's just me
I'm alone
Papa's a little bit stressed out fuck!"
Feeling so sensitive, I'm going for a latte
See what's popping at pilates
Hit up my friends like, "Yo, what up man
Tryna have a spa day?"
"The fuck? You're a stay at home dad
That's not gay!"

Ay, ay, ay, ay, you go to work
I mow the lawn
Ay, ay, ay, ay, you make the cheese
I'll bring the guac (nacho sauce, Spanish)
Ay, ay, ay, ay, you buy the clothes
I'll take them off ("jncos! fubu!")
Ay, ay, ay, ay, I'm a stay at home dad
This is my job

You go girl, get that promotion
I'll be on the sofa, collecting unemployment
Yelling at the TV, watching Maury Povich
Quit groping that girl, Maury Povich

Who is this Jenny Jones bitch?
Shit, it's four o'clock, time for Oprah
(Oprah) the gospel of the Lord
For dads who stay at home
Even though we can't get boners
We still watch Rachael Ray
And Emeril cook lasagna
Swooping up the kids from soccer practice
(soccer practice) then time for gymnastics
Rice Crispy treats and wax baggies
I'm with my kids in the minivvan
Listening to NPR
With the windows down, through the cul de sac

Then it's homework time, dinner time
Set the placemats
Cook, clean, tuck the rugrats in blankets
Then I lay you down, pop two Cialis
Put on Sting and then go quench my palette
Is that douche
Or does your cooch just smell like flowers?
Your feet are calloused, peppermint towlette
Jasmine pedicure? Scented oil
Homeopathic backrub?
I am Alladin, your carpet is magic
Your wish has been granted
I would just love to ride your
Carpet out of the palace
Now keep on bringing the green, baby
And I'll keep on tossing salad

Ay, ay, ay, ay, you go to work
I mow the lawn
Ay, ay, ay, ay, you make the cheese
I'll bring the guac (nacho sauce, Spanish)
Ay, ay, ay, ay, you buy the clothes
I'll take them off ("jncos! fubu!")
Ay, ay, ay, ay, I'm a stay at home dad
This is my job

"Ladies and gentlemen
We have been conditioned to believe
We must fit in
A role, brainwashed by Babylon depicting our
Role must match our genitalia
Hell to the no it's men who go
To work, and women raise the children
But I know the hardest job is maintaining the
Household, so I am doing a back-to back
No tradebacks, with this briefcase for 2010
I am staying at home"