Mary Lambert - Not Ready to Die Yet lyrics

So I slept through the autumn
Slept through the spring
I don't know how it happened but I let it win
All of my life I've been awake but not here
I'm not great at living
Just surviving nightmares

Slept through Christmas, all of the parties
I'm sorry my love there's nothing
Else I can see

I'm not ready to die yet
I'm not ready to give up this fight
I still believe in hope though
The voices are loud tonight
I'm not ready to die yet
I'm not ready to lie down
But the fate of the end is
I will make it somehow

Shame is gigantic, sit's loud in my ear drum
It is not beautiful
I don't know where it comes from
But, I'm learning forgiveness
It's more than a mantra
Can I be honest? I don't think I deserve it

I want to break gently
But something won't give
A marathon of hurt, can I just fucking live?

I'm not ready to die yet
I'm not ready to give up this fight
I still believe and hope that
The voices are loud tonight
I'm not ready to die yet
I'm not ready to lie down
But the fate of the end
Is I'll make it somehow

I'm not ready to die yet
I'm not ready to die yet
I'm not ready to die yet i'm not ready