MC Lars, Wheatus - Finite Jest lyrics

With so much drama at the ETA
It’s kind of hard being Hal Incandenza, hey
Because I’m not okay, and something’s wrong
I call my brother Orin and
I quote Beatles song
To make a long story short
Well my daddy died
He microwaved his head, now I wonder why
There’s a piece of him left
Beyond the kitchen
A video in fact, it's history rewritten
Please forgive this apophasis
‘cause my life’s been stuck in stasis
Concavity is growing and I don’t
Think I can face it
Be a pro in the show, this I know is my dream
But these cartridges they’re mailing out are
Not quite what they seem
While my brother keeps on filming, balanced
Leaning to the side
Like a Foster Wallace novel


Counting footnotes piled high

('Cause I'm just a teenage dirtbag baby)
To be or not to be it’s honestly ridiculous
(yeah, I'm just a teenage dirtbag baby)
Meticulous, conspicuous, this drama
Yeah I'm sick of it
(Listen to Iron Maiden baby, with me, ooooh)
To be or not to be it’s honestly ridiculous
Addicted to this screen
Looks like I'm never getting rid of it

Digging in the graveyard
I stuck him with the shovel
And then I watched the moon take
The form of the devil
Canadian Wheelchair Assassins on the go
Like a Northport Kerouac terminus I'm home
A legacy from dad to show
Me that I'm not alone
He freaking took the video and freaking
Stuck it in his dome
Holographic experiments, my father had hella
Like a 2pac set with Snoop at Coachella
Wait, that's in the future
Confusing chronology
Technology, mythology a literary oddity
Postmodern in the cutest of terms
When will Bret Easton Ellis
Ever relax and learn?
Sure, it's nonlinear, thinking I might go
Ricky Kasso on these fools, "American Psycho"

('Cause I'm just a teenage dirtbag baby)
To be or not to be it’s honestly ridiculous
(yeah, I'm just a teenage dirtbag baby)
Meticulous, conspicuous, this drama
Yeah I'm sick of it
(Listen to Iron Maiden baby, with me, ooooh)
To be or not to be it’s honestly ridiculous
Addicted to this screen
Looks like I'm never getting rid of it

At the Enfield, Enfield Tennis Academy
(Oh yeah, dirtbag) tennis Academy
At the Enfield, Enfield Tennis Academy
Tennis Academy

At the Enfield, Enfield Tennis Academy
(Oh yeah, dirtbag) tennis Academy
At the Enfield, Enfield Tennis Academy
Tennis Academy

And now, for the chilling conclusion, of
This dense, symbolic tome in short
It turns Hal's dad made the video
To communicate with his son

What would I want my future
Self to tell me now?
Maintain my mental health? Get
Through this all somehow?
Will they remember me when I forget?
How I got to this place
Quarantined and upset?
It's a fallacy, got that talent see
Acting tragically ennet House, wow
Can they make me malice free?
Honestly, it's been a rough summer G
I promise thee
If I can leave, teenage me you will never see
But what's, it's a message from my pops?
Sent from beyond the grave?
That dude never stops!

(Oh yeah, dirtbag)
Meticulous, conspicuous, this drama
Yeah I'm sick of it addicted to this screen
Looks like I'm never getting rid of it

(Oh yeah, dirtbag) to watch or not to
Watch it’s honestly ridiculous
Addicted to this screen
Looks like I'm never getting rid of it

So that's the story of "Infinite Jest
" all 1079 pages including the
Many, many pages of footnotes that's
A synopsis basically it's Hamlet
Right? Retold through the lens of
This kid at a
Tennis academy in Massachusetts
And then we did the
"Teenage Dirtbag" chorus because
He's a teenager, and
That makes sense, and I want to shout out
Wheatus for doing this song with me
And also I recommend you read
The book and that's all