MF DOOM - Kookies lyrics

It's horrible one lonely evening alone, home
End up with carpal tunnel syndrome
And here I am
Known for giving heavy back aches
Grown and living off of
Little Debbie snack cakes
Supposed to be checking emails
All I got is messages from ass naked females
I don't know a Jenny
She said it's free and I
Won't owe her a penny
And that's the last time I saw her
But thousands of more horrors
On online Gomorrah
And Sodom, they got 'em with they curls out
And they got a better sales
Pitch than the Girl Scouts
I wonder what I owe her
For a whole box of caramel coconut samoa
("Nite nite!") Uh, okay honey, sweet dreams
Now it's time to get serious like Peek Freans
A metal handful, wipe it on the quilt
Wife wake up and I'm kill't over spilt milk
Locked in, looking at your picture
Fully clothed winter and I'm
Right there with ya
Thinking about the last time
I split your wishbone
A man could only wish you do
The same 'til he get home
Fat chance, at least he get snacks
That'd have to do 'til a brother get back
Until then smack One-Eyed Jack
And hope one of his peoples can
Hook him with a tri pack
That's three different flavors
Chocolate, vanilla and strawberry wafers
Acting all hard, 'bout to get beat up
I'll show him what time it is
Once I get this sheet up
Soon as he fell off the beat down
All I hear is, "13th cell
Put the sheet down"
Damn CO, what the hell do she know?
Besides the fact she wanna get
Dug out on the d-low
A workaholic with a fountain in the ink pen
Out in the mountains and
I stopped drinking again
In the wee hours, he's gotten farther
Needing three showers, being hot and bothered
The wiz with her legs bent, pregnant
God bless the day she wondered
Where her egg went
I need a L, it's hard to drink without it
And could use some kookies but trying
Not to think about it
Watching "BET" on jazz for knowledge on file
Every other commercial
College hoes gone wild
Soft batch, I prefer the other bunch
Like we got for lunch
Chocolate fudge butter crunch

He don't mess with the Ritz Bit's
Wheat Thins, Saltines or Triscuit's
Matzos or Cheez-Its
Catch sugar fit's every time that he sees
Chips Ahoy, double chocolate chunk
Something with the bubble and the
Junk in the trunk
Even the Oreos, no matter what weather
Always kept 'em dipped in
Milk and stuck together
In the game he's shameless
Even uses a code name: Famous Amos
It's cheaper than a short stay
At the Days Inn
And good like 25 cent oatmeal raisin
Give a hand to who invented the camera
Skip past the graham, animal and Grandma’s
Shh, make sure she don't wake
From her dream chill
Or get caught with a handful of cream fill

"Oh, honey! What are you
Doing? That's so nasty!" it might seem ill
"Ew! Go wash your hands!" (No) kookies
"Get out of here!"
"DOOM is master of the world"
"I'd sure hate to see that ugly mug
Of yours in my history book"
"You've disturbed me for the last time"
Hey, y'know something gang
That DOOM ain't really all bad
What do you mean, Ben?
Well, on account of him I had
Me a real good time y'know, I mean
Between you and me I kinda like being black
Well, maybe if we're lucky he'll
Attack us once more and send you back
Benjamin ah haha very funny
Well, if anyone can do
It nevertheless let's get out of here
While we can food, we need food