Momus - Oskar Tennis Champion lyrics

Uncle Oskar
An intensely idealistic tennis star
Goes to see a guru at an architecture seminar
It seems the radiant city will
Soon be ushered in
Where all things will be modular
And rational and clean
Green space, tennis, pleasures all planned
And nothing, says the man
To fear or fail to understand
The world will be 'Ein
Lichtspiel Schwartz Weiss-Grau'
As predicted by the experts at the Bauhaus
Dessau

Oh Oskar tennis champion
We're sorry for your frau
Now Moholy Nagy is your holy cow

My uncle is inspired to start
His dream home right away
He steps out of the hall, but in his hurry
To his great dismay
He fails to see the rake
It bangs him in the face
Causing him to trip, and
To his horror and disgrace
A barrel of molasses hanging
Dangling in the sky
Falls upon my uncle and it
Hit's him in the eye
It trickles down his back
My uncle's quickly stuck
To the sleepers of the nearby monorail track

Oh Oskar tennis champion uh oh wow
Who but Le Corbusier could save you now?

Next time we see our
Hero two experimental trains
Are hurtling down the monorail towards
My uncle's balls and brains
Then comes a bolt of lightning
A sudden cut in power
My uncle sees the whole facade
Of a residential tower
Crashing down towards him
He doesn't worry though
His survival is assured by the
Position of the window

Oh Oskar Tennis Champion, what's up doc?
Help, he goes
Send Adolf Loos or the Keystone Cops!

Oh Oskar Tennis Champion it's all gone wrong
Who knew you'd see Utopia but
You'd be King Kong?

Oskar Tennis Champion uh oh wow
Can pompous Walter Gropius save you now?

Ultra-modernism it's a drag
When Jacques Tati and Buster
Keaton write your gags