Noah Kahan - Growing Sideways lyrics

So I took my medication and
I poured my trauma out on some sad eyed
Middle-aged man's overpriced new
Leather couch and we argued about Jesus
Finally found some middle ground
I said, "I'm cured"

And I divvied up my anger into
Thirty separate parts
Keep the bad shit in my liver
And the rest around my heart
I'm still angry at my parents for
What their parents did to them
But, it's a start

But, I ignore things and I move sideways
'Til I forget what I felt in the first place
At the end of the day
I know there are worse ways to stay alive

'Cause everyone's growing and
Everyone's healthy
I'm terrified that I might never have met me
Oh, if my engine works perfect on empty
I guess I'll drive i guess I'll drive

So I forgot my medication
Fell into a manic high
Spent my savings at a Lulu
Now I'm sufferin' in style
Why is pain so damn impatient? Ain't like
It's got a place to be keeps rushin' me

But, I ignore things and I move sideways
'Til I forget what I felt in the first place
At the end of the day
I know there are worse ways to stay alive

'Cause everyone's growing and
Everyone's healthy
I'm terrified that I might never have met me
Oh, if my engine works perfect on empty
I guess I'll drive

And if all my life was wasted
I don't mind, I'll watch it go
Yeah, it's better to die numb
Than feel it all
Oh, if all my time was wasted
I don't mind, I'll watch it go
Yeah, it's better to die numb
Than feel it all

But, I ignore things and I move sideways
Until I forget what I felt in the first place
At the end of the day
Lord knows there are worse ways to stay alive

'Cause everyone's growing and
Everyone's healthy
I'm terrified that I might never have met me
Oh, if my engine works perfect on empty
I guess I'll drive i guess I'll drive