Non-Prophets - Disasters lyrics

On plane rides on train rides
On bus rides
You need to shut your kids the fuck up!
(Word up) trying to get some writing
Done on this mothafucker (I hate it)
Hahacheck it out

Perhaps when I have one of my own
I'll sing a new tune
But this song is called "Disasters"
It's about your two year old
I sing for a living in funeral homes
I don't take requests
Diss my sense of fashion all you want
I hate the way you dress
How do you expect someone
To take you seriously
When it's obvious the god you trust
Is hateful and inferior to me?
"I'm kidding!" Really folks
Who asked us to be modest?
Thinking when you hear these jokes
You laugh just to feel smarter
Women are cannon-fodder for the father
Of their bratty little disasters
I brought it back a little bit, you see that?

Give you a recap
Before I recall it and recut it
Relax and read more on every subject
Beat back the natural urges that
Have surgeons attack fat persons
Scalpels swervin' till the cellulite
Splattered on curtains
Certain you've heard of me by now
That's why you're listening
As I waste the most inopportune
Time to diss some things (like children)
If you have one, cool!
But don't use kiddies as an excuse
To make terrible music please

I've got a mouth to feed too
And it lives on my face
In a house that's see-through and
It's your kid's mom's place
Baby mamma drama blah blah blah
I've got a problem but I'm not sitting
On top of a barbarian chair
With Rastafarian hair
I fear no man with a hand full of scissors
Cause I just cut him short in the
Shape of an animal less vicious, dig it
I'm more dapper than Dan, and sadly?
You're more stupid like a van full
Of Pakistans at a Klan rally
Where's my daddy? Forget what the
Court of law says i cut my losses
I'm asking you who the fuck YOURS is!
If I wanted to pick you up with a line
It'd have a fish hook on the end of
It and I'd stick it in your eye
Fucking cry, baby wipe your eye, baby
I may have busted off a couple of
Times inside but that ain't mybaby!

Kickin' unoriginal flavors, dumb ish
Like Jay-Z trying to impress chip
Fool with a tongue twist
I diggity done this, I diggity done that
I kiggity-kept the style in my arsenal
Thinking it will come back
Now run that shit like wild potato chips
Throw your hands up if you're
In a fucked up relationship
Help mefuck these kids up in
The two seats behind me (waah)
(Yo Sage
That's supposed to be an inner loop beat)
I know that (disaster)
I know that (disaster)
I know that (disaster)
I know that (disaster)