Ollie - More Than Music IV lyrics

Yeah you ever feel like you don't say
Enough while also saying too much?
Overthink so long 'bout what
People gon' probably judge
Too many signs misread from ones
I thought I loved
Guess the closest to your heart can
Deal you the worst cuts
Lately petrified from these lessons
I shoulda known
Start to question my existence the
Other thing's that I don't
It's why I'm closed off
Unread messages on my phone
And the words I wish I said
All stuck inside of my throat
Tryna let it out, they told
Me, "Breathe, trust me, you fine"
While my heart rate increased
Anxiety filled my mind i can barely go a day
Without fearing my own decline
So I pace around my room, alone
Writing these lines i'm defeated often
Oh the irony of persistence
And pursue the happiness I confused
The purpose of living
It's a blue sky outside but
I ain't close to finished
I obsess over this fear
Letting down future children i'm a menace
I'm an outcast tending with all this pain
I'm as lonely as a spell that's
Cast away in the rain
Built a castle on a hill that
Crumbled from all this change
Tryna put it back together is
Different but still the same
Am I making sense? What if
I'm not even making sense?
What if I dropped a song and no
One relates to me in the end?
I know it all depends
I feel my heart beat through this pen
I think it's heaven-sent
I don't just fake weak for a trend
This is all I got

My side is beautiful this is all I got
My side is beautiful, I know
My side is beautiful my side is beautiful

Yeah every piece of me inside this music
Somedays scared I won't get it back
Often think about the factory job
That I started at
Would I be happier never checking
On my social stats?
Got so blinded by a dream and
The things that I coulda had
Soley guided by emotion
Stranded out in the open
Waves crashing overboard as my
Spirit was barely coping trouble holding on
Except to this cigarette that I'm smoking
This ain't what I planned
Not even close to what I was hoping
But there's beauty in the struggle
Something I'd come to find
God tests His strongest soldiers to
Keep 'em present in mind and in mine
Would you stay? Never leave from my side?
'Cause in Christ, you strengthen me
I'm so powerful I could fly
But I stumble often
I'm not as perfect as I seem
All this anger in my chest I
Keep hidden behind the scenes
Along a journey and my growth
I'm only a human being
More Than Music is precisely what
All of these lyrics mean
It means I'm incomplete, broken
Often misunderstood
On this lonely road we walk
Never gave up when others would
Found in a lost place
Done everything that I should
Just 'cause there's darkness in my past
It doesn't mean I'm not good

I swear I'm trying my side is beautiful
I swear I'm trying
My side is beautiful, I know
My side is beautiful
My side is beautiful, I know

My side is beautiful
My side is beautiful, I know
My side is beautiful
My side is beautiful, I know
My side is beautiful, I know yeah