Rap Contenders, Woodman, Uno Lavoz - Uno Lavoz vs Woodman lyrics

Real talk
J'aurais préféré clasher en français
J'ai été assimilé par la francophonie au
Point d'oublier comment parler en anglais
Quand Dony m'a offert Uno Lavoz comme
Vous j'me suis dit "Eh yo, c'est qui?"
Ensuite, un côté en moi s'est manifesté
Même si bien trop enfoui
Soudainement j'me suis rappelé que j'avais
Déjà fait les KOTD
Les KOTD? Mais qu'est-ce que je fous ici?
I'm here cause they needed
A vagabond to sneak
A stash of chron in his carry on
A true man to expose a Stan behind a mask
Shall I carry on?
Majestic how they gave me a plane to
Ride and I didn't pay a price
Other than having to stay beside and
Endure the Puerto Rican cable guy
This a dude who acts dumb and dumber


Versus a bum who is spitting flames
I smoke weed while fucking your mom
That's fun with dick and Jane
(I'm on my Jim Carrey shit he's a comedian)
My bars out of this world
Send this man to the
Moon like space venturing
I'll curb this bitch when I roll through
With more animals than Ace Ventura
I'll leave him blatenly beaten
I'll slay this comedian
And send his kid to get
Babysat by Adrien Peterson
I'm the ruthless type
Bad luck like I roofed your dice
GHB in your bictches' cup, I roofed your wife
Act like you're going to son me
And I'll lose this fight
But, I'm already like your son:
Cause, I'mma ruin your life
I'll do his son vile
Poison in his son's vial
He'll call the cops like a snitch
I'll know what time it is soon
As I see son dial canibus bars!
I said, my notepad will rock your world
That's a comit book jaws get hooked
I stood face to face with a shark
And stayed so calm it booked
I learn which guns to buy
From reading comic books
He ain't no stand-up guy so
Why is this comic booked?
I said Canibus bars!
On my lyrical miracle spiritual steez
Kill you with millions of syllables
And Little Italy schemes
You're as obscene as can be but
Even if Mystique is a skeez
When she told you to "beat it"
She didn't mean it litterally
Who's gonna stop me?
In my home we are only known for hockey
So with the blades I'm a pro
Leave this hoe stretched out
Like he knows pilates you ain't no Miyagi
You think you're a ninja cause
Your flow is choppy
But, you won't be talking
When I shred you with the
Metal like Oroku Saki
Rest in peace Donatello
Fuck being seen with a star
I wasn't trying to meet you
This a snuff flick where the little bitch
Gets pistol whipped with the 9mm
I'll turn this hasbeen battler into
A passed date vegetable
I'll shoot a clip in France
And turn this bitch into
The Cannes film festival facile!

I said yo, rebuttal shit
My shit I could even slow it much faster
You came with glasses acting like Canibus
Well fuck it i guess I'mma have to start
Throwing punches like Dizaster
You got nothing for this battle paid Zero
That's why you ain't got no cause
You was talking about my son
But, you can't have kids cause
You ain't got no balls
Bitch ass fuck outta here
Your chin's dirty as shit
Whatever bullshit comes out of my mouth
You'd better say it's good
You'd better play how a player should
Cause if you act up
These hands will be around the neck in
The woods like: Welcome to the neighborhood
Red dots all over him
I don't care for those hickies
Don't stick me, you don't get me?
If not, I'll fuck around and have XXX
(a raid?) with the hammer like don't jinx me
Don't get it? It's cool
Your mom sucks dick for calling
Cards and green leggings
You're looking at me like "Huh?"
All of a sudden then you want to scrap
What? You don't fuck with that? Man
I'll let that thunder clap
I said fuck around and I'll
Start chopping down Wood
Like a motherfucking lumberjack
Your grandma sells fucking wooden dicks
Your name's Wood bitch?
I wish you wood bitch
I ain't gonna never stop we're battling here
Why? They barely understang anything that
We're about to drop
But yet you think you're lovable
I know why we're battling here:
Cause your own country don't fuck with you
Anyway, I never ain't about to stop
I'll kill your family in front of
You and let Wood watch
That's what I call a grandfather clock
I said you're a bitch
Someone I will not fear
I can see it on your face you're
Scared and might even shed a tear
What? You think you're gonna get
Somme hypeoff of me
Like you gonna become top tier? Sorry Woody
But this buzz ain't gonna happen cause for
You this gonna be a light year

Yo don't want no drama, wussy
You said my chin's dirty?
Yeah, from diving head first
In your Mama's pussy
Your Mama thinks she's a hustler
Cause she tries to sell used acrylic
Nails back to the salon
She's always fiending for my pipe
That's why I cracked her in the jaw
I'm Latrell with a gun
Shooting from long range on a murderous spree
Graffiti on the sidewalk
That's the word on the street
Bitch, you battling in vein
Get outlined if you keep babbling like a dame
You better can it or I'll leave
You rattled when I spray
Maytag, product is sold
And I always hold a toaster
I said your mom is in a Lesbian streetgang
(He's instragraming this shit cause my
Bars are harder than his)
Maytag, product is sold
And I always hold a toaster
I said your mom is in a
Lesbian streetgang called La Chocha Nostra
Your mom's pussy smells like tuna tostadas
In her bedroom
You'd hear voices more than uno dos Lavoz
I'mma hit you with the one two
That's the uno dos Lavoz
I'm so dope, you'll comatose
With just uno dose, lavoz
My pengame ain't something you teach
I got that killer quill
Your pengame puts us to sleep
You got that Seroquel
I got so many guns and I don't
Give a fuck where the permit's at
English cigarette, I'mma burn this fag
Upgrade my bullets to raise the heat
No thermostat
I'm always looking for bigger shells
Like a hermit crab homo, check
I'm fly with the weapons like Robotech
Guns the size of JD
So loud they'll leave you so so deaf
I got giant black arms: that's Maadou
Kick in your door and piss on your floor
That's bathroom
My ink will leave you permantly scarred
That's tattoo you mad dude? Cause your punch
Game's weak: that's Shaq Fu
This bitch queer about to get vicked
Here and ain't shit fair dude
Woodman, I keep lowering the piff fares fool
So I'll need extra figures for your ransom
Hope they're prepared to
Pay to get you back with more
0's than a Ric Flair Whoo
That's a lot of O's man, that's a lot of O's
And if you got funds in different accounts
I'll rob him at them banks
Luis Mendoza training
Make him slip with the cans fulton Reed
44 on your back if you wanna try your luck
Knucklepucks from every direction
Might he duck
Fiends, triple dick for that Charlie
I live the Con way
Leave your chick bashed bro and tell
Her that pussy the bomb bae
Actin catty like Julie Gaffney's who
She's trying to be
I make her throw that vagina in the air
That's the Flying V!
I said your mom she's a bitch man
Your mom used to look like Misses December
Now she's a war amp', disfigured and severed
TLC, Run DMC
Are just some shit's I can mention
Cause similar to them
Your mom is missing a member

I see you're shaking all over the place
Sweat going through your pores
You only talking about my mom
Cause you know I fucked yours
(Only cause they can understand)
I said I'm one of the best
I'm looking at your chest, speaking of chess?
For acting F'd up I'll leave you F down
Like the letters on your chest
(Hey he get it)
I said yo, I'm way better bro
Compared to you
I'll leave you with a hole in the middle
Just like the letter O cause this round
I got a bucket full of bad bars
And I'm about to let them go
And I'mma start dumping the shit on
The Wood like a Survivor episode
Cause people take shit's in the
Woods in a Survivor episode
You mom wear skinny jeans in the summer time
Bitch sells Muslim oils to Christians
When she's wanna grind
I don't understand the way you stood man
Ever since I came up in this
Game I let that wood blam
And ever since I came in your
Face that chain I took man
I know why you name is Woodman
Cause the only way you got to this spot
Is by sucking his cock and buffing that wood
Man you actually think you deserve
A battle with me? Fuck no!
I said I'm Puerto Rican I'll grab a
Blade and start to cut throats
Ever since I met you in this game
I was like "What's up bro?"
(You ain't need a punch like "Wooo!"?)
Well you'll get knocked out
Like serious Jones when
He said that shit in summer madness
So what's up Hoe?
I remembered yourself in your first battle
Sike I lied bitch I never
Saw none of you shit
Probably won't ever watch this and I'm in it
Motherfucker I'll rap till I'm finish
Cause, I got a knife that'll saw
Something like a eye witness
Goodbye bitches see, "Do or die"
After that battle you gonna commit suicide
I got a gun that'll put 3 O's in his head
Like what you're losing by for real
If you really think of something like
If you used the knives
Your mom be jerking my dick off
I'll be nailing her hands, that's crucified
Now this is something that I have to get
You try to prove you're not racist
You say a lot of racist shit but
Your hype man is black as shit
I said I'm about to re-up
Fuck Scottie I'll get him beamed up
I got that shit when I pull
It out of my pocket, these nuts

It's not 1-1 it's 2-0 after this battle
Me and your anorexic mom are going to cuddle
I would've rebutted something in your verse
But there was nothing worth a rebuttal
I smoke the most potent ganja
This man's poems are the poorest stanzas
He'll get taxed and see who's the boss
No Tony Danza you're a horrid actor
Who's dialog's the most boring chatter
I'll Rob your deniro
This raging bull gonna leave
A tourist trampled
Doppleganger, extort and shank you
In this foreign land
While I tour and throw your cash
At whores and gorgeous dancers
I'll own this prankster and turn his
Kid into an orphan after
You're the reason they made a
Pill for the morning after
I'm gonna catch you, Shang Tsung
Your soul I'll capture
Leave you shocked like Thor when
I tote the hammer i'm not a mechanic but I
Always hold a ratchet
My guns smokes so much It's
Gonna croak from cancer you're an asshole
I'll leave you chocked and mangled
Broke and fractured, the chrome
Will clap you, you dome will shatter
Or we can box until I reduce
Your skull bones to fragments
I'm picture perfect with the
Hands like George Costanza
I'm a nerd with a laser on his
Gun that's a techie with a beam
This is the pettiest of thieves versus a
Genius with the deadliest of schemes
Bitch, you itch to run shit
But forever you gonna flee
Your mom looks like Loe Pesci in a weave
And your mom, she's a skeeza
A fiend for tricking
That bitch blows more sax than Lisa Simpson
That hoe is ravaged
She smells like moldy cabbage
She has a torturous rack like Lex Luger
That left me with a totaled package
Your mom's teeth rattle it's like
Morse code it's true
Fuck the popo there's no telling
What the 44 will do
Expose you lack of heart
Rip your torso in two
You battled a shoe but dude it
Had more soul than you
Keep thinking you'll prosper
I'm Big T with the boom blakka
You just stepped in a bear trap
That's what I call a foot locker
He thinks that he gonna get pretty
Women thanks to his rich gear
But when it comes to driving
Manuel can't even switch gears
Wood stays plotting, deeply rooted
I stick to the plans
Your name is Manuel but you can't
Do shit with your hands
You're the shook type
Cause your mom is not a diligent person
Like Suge Knight she is a fat bitch
Who goes to prison on purpose
And she instilled her son
With bitchassness so
If fit's are swung in a fight
He's the type to hit and run
Your mom is so ugly, she's fucking ugly
She's so fucking ugly, that we call her Fugly
See that's his type of shit
Your mom is an old earth
I was mounting the shrew
This boy met world and she drank
From my fountain of youth without me
She wandered years now your mother is dead
Piss on her grave
I've been savage like the brother of Fred
So thanks Paris
Ce fut un plaisir d'avoir clash and represent
Vous avez rien compris but this will
Be a classic on the net
In retrospect' it was an honor to
Have battled with a vet
Yeah? Well fuck you too then
J'suis seulement ici pour voir
Maadou et Wojtek!
(Dig the shit, dig the shit) 3-0 body

You know what? I like the way you speak dude
Since we're in Paris, I'mma speak French to
It's not gonna be good though
Omelette du fromage that's it
Comment ça va? I'm learning! Ça va bien?
Where is your girlfriend? Voulez-vous coucher
Avec moi ce soir? Pretty good, right?
The moral of this round is that you're
So robotic you're almost like a cyborg
We have nothing in common, as far
As levels, writing skills, funny jokes
Anything so why do I need to write more?
You think cause I came up
Here and fucking around
That all of a sudden that I'm the least of
Your opponents then I gotta deny my spot
But bro, you paid for this
You didn't earn it
So why do you deserve this spot?
See me, I paid for my own flights
Did a lot of shit when I started
Then I came up battle who I
Needed to get up regardless
I ain't suck nobody's dick
I ain't put money in no ones hand
I did everything on myself
Like a motherfucking man
So why do I need to write for you?
Why do you demand my respect?
I should be battling you! Cause you're the
One who wrote me the check
But yet you think you're
Something you're not, motherfucker
Thats why we're battling here and
Not King Of The Dot, motherfucker
You had to get on a flight
Pay for your own hotel
And you made that I came here fucking around
Bitch o well but, if you all gave me
Someone with a real rep
I promise y'all I would have gave y'all more
But instead you gave me this
Piece of shit ass
Bum ass, marked tatoo ass, blatant ass whore
I said but for real when it comes to
This XXX man I had to trip
I'll fuck around and make you
Flip like gymnastics bitch
Cause, I wanna see if Wood
Box like a casket bitch
I said for real 9 blaming
Go to your ribs and start stabbing
I'm the boss and I fuck around and
Fire wood like we going camping
I'll crack your head open with
A bottle of snapple
Put that 12 gauge to your head
And knock out your Adam's apple
Your mom suck dicks for
Snapples and Adam's apples
She gets that Eve's treatment
Weird beans, smoking that green lion
I said I'll fuck around and dump
Your head in the water
I'll leave you baptized
I got a gun that size
Piss me off and they gonna have to
Hold me back like that guy
But on some real shit though
I really do fuck with you
Thanks for having me out bro
And France, I really do am in love with you