Ray Stevens - Bad Little Boy lyrics

Thanksgiving is all over and my
Dad put up the tree
Looks like a merry Christmas for
Everyone - but me 'Cause, I ain't gettin'
Nothin' this Christmas
Not even one little toy
They say I ain't gettin' nothin'
At all this Christmas
'Cause, I've been a bad little boy
My mommy screamed when she
Found my pet gerbil
In my little baby sister's basinette
They say my little baby sister has
A soft spot in her head
But, I haven't found it - yet
And dad yelled just 'cause I
Took the ridin' mower
For a little trip down to the candy store
And my big brother Brett
Boy did he get upset
When I told mom about the
Magazines in his bottom drawer
So, I ain't gettin' nothin' this Christmas
And last christmas I was
Everybody's pride and joy
But they say I ain't gettin'
Nothin' at all this christmas
'Cause, I've been a bad little boy
I was hopin' I might get a chemistry set or a
Motorcycle or something like that
But that's before I used
Brett's model rocket set
And made an astronaut out
Of Miss Wilcox's cat stupid cat
If he'da just held on tight like I told him
I wouldn'a had to super glue
His little paws to the rocket
Yeah, if he'da just been still
Like I told him
He wouldn'a thrown the rocket off course
And he wouldn'a landed in Butch
The bull dog's back yard
Stupid cat
But did the cat get in trouble? No! But
Hey, I ain't gettin' nothin' this Christmas
Not even one little toy they all say I ain't
Gettin' nothin' this Christmas
'Cause, I've been a bad little boy
Oh, my grandma had to go to the hospital
Yeah, but don't worry, she's not really sick
She just had a little
Trouble walking for awhile
After I showed her my Power Ranger kick
So, I ain't gettin' nothin' this Christmas
Not from mom or dad or brett or Grandma
They all say I ain't gettin'
Nothin' at all this christmas
But they don't know my grandpa!
My grandpa'd give me anything I want I bet
"Boys will be boys
" that's what Grandpa says
"Lighten up bill, he's just a little kid!"
My grandpa calls my dad "Bill!"
I just hope my grandpa doesn't find out
Who took his Great Big
Bertha golf clubs though
It's true what they say about
The Great Big Bertha
I can hit a rock farther
With a Great Big Bertha
Than with any of my dad's golf clubs
Even with the big dents I put in it
That rock just goes and goes
One rock went through Miss Wilcox's window
Wish it'da hit that stupid cat
I hate that cat