Ray Stevens - Can He Love You Half as Much as I lyrics

Well you say you just got married
And your husband is a jewel
Graduated summa cum laude from a
Big north eastern school
Has a doctorate in Physics and a
Masters in Phys Ed
Was the captain of the football team
There's not a book he hasn't read

Well sure, but can he: ee ah-ee ooh
And can he play the spoons?
Make music with his armpit's
Little animals from balloons?
Can he whistle Dixie while eating
Crackers and covering one eye?
Can he love you half as much as I?

He's climbing the corporate ladder
In business he's a gem
General Motors never had a vice
President as young as him
You say he wrote a computer program
That saved 8 million bucks
And found a way to cut the cost
On all their cars and trucks
Big deal, huh, can he: ee ah-ee ooh
And does he have my charms?
Can he wiggle his ears
Juggle of beers and make a frog in your arms?
I bet he can't do this no
Matter how hard he tries
Can he love you half as much as I?

You brag how he's so cultured
How he sculptures and he writes
But did you know that now I
Go to culture classes every night?
I'm a devote and connoisseur
Of black velveteen art
I have a painting of Rambo
That glows in the dark

So he makes 200
000 per and can press 300 pounds
So he drives a red Ferrari and lives
On the snooty side of town
So you're gonna sail around the world
On his tacky gaudy yacht
So he spends vacations working with
Mother Theresa in India, so what

That kind of superficiality can
Wear pretty thin

I just wanna know, can he: ee ah-ee ooh
And can he play the spoons?
Make music with his armpit's
Little animals from balloons?
Can he whistle Dixie while eating
Crackers and covering one eye?
Can he love you half as much
Does he have my charm, does he have my touch?
Can he love you half as much as I?