Ray Stevens - Drivers Education lyrics

This is the story of a driver's education

Well, now there was no driver's
Ed program where our kids went to school
I said, "I'm no Richard Petty
But I'm nobody's fool" i said
"I don't need to pay someone to teach
My son to drive
I'll teach him everything I know, that way
He will survive"

So I drove to the country
Sat him behind the wheel
But before I handed him the
Keys, I said, "Now, listen, here's the deal"
"There's a whole lot that you need to know
Before you put this thing in gear"
He said, "Daddy, I know everything
I've been watching you for years"
"On the highway, drive as fast as you can
Keep a sharp lookout for the Man
And be careful not to let some
Fool get ahead of you
Yell at the folks who drive too slow
Blow your horn if they still won't go
And Daddy, now that I'm driving
Can I use those words you use?"

This is the story of a driver's education
And it really doesn't need much explanation
It's more or less the product
Of a painful revelation
The story of a driver's education (Education)

I said, "Now, hold on there a minute, son
That's not exactly right" he said, "Oh yeah
I forgot the part about how
To drive at night"

"Always keep your bright lights on
So you can see what's going on
And if those other folks don't like it
Well, they know what they can do
And you can run red lights
When no one's around
And stop signs only mean 'slow down'
See, Daddy? I've been watching
I know everything you do"

So I took the wheel and drove us home
I had a lot to think about
I resisted the temptation several times to
Rant and rave and shout
The next day I enrolled our son
In a professional driving school
And they taught him to
Be an excellent driver
And I learned a few things too
This is the story of a driver's education
And it really doesn't need much explanation
It's more or less the product
Of a painful revelation
The story of a driver's education (Education)