Ray Stevens - Fred lyrics

Well, Fred was a dog I used to own
He used to answer the telephone
And every now and then
He'd take the truck into town for groceries

Yeah, Fred and I got along real well
At the checker board, ol' Fred was hell
And he never minded taking turns
At doing the dishes

Now when Fred was just about three years old
He started acting kind of bold
And he's chasing after that beagle
Down across the highway
Well he's down there every day and night
I said, "Fred
You know you're gonna have to fight"
He said
"I've already whipped everything between
Here and the railroad"

Fred, you are a good dog
But the women got you rinnin wild
And crazy as a loon fred, you are a good dog
But, you're chsing cars
Hanging out at bars and howling at the moon

Well now
One night old Fred came stragglin' in
He's looking bad but he's pulling a grin
He said "'Mone, i just took a wife and I
Want you to meet her"

Now she didn't really have much to say
And it's plain to see she's in a family way
She said, "Fred
You better whip on back and get my suitcase"

Well Fred never made it to the other side
'Cause right in the middle of
The road he died
Flattened by a trucker hauling dog food

Now old Fred's gone and she's living here
Just yappin' at her kids and drinkin' my beer
And she don't drive the truck
Nor do the dishes

Fred, you were a good dog
But, you never knew when to chase 'em
Or when to turn around and run
Yeah Fred, you were a good dog
But now you're flat out on the
Freeway and drying in the sun
Now old Fred's gone and I'm kinda glad
'Cause if he were here now he'd sure be mad
'Cause ain't one of them pups
Looks anything like him

Yeah Fred, you were a good dog
But, you never knew when to chase 'em
Or when to turn around and run
Oh Fred, you were a good dog
But now you're flat out on the
Freeway and drying in the sun
Flat out on the freeway and drying in the sun