Ray Stevens - Power Tools lyrics

Well, some folks say that grown-up men
Are still just little boys
But really, the only difference
Is the price of our toys
We go from macho symbols
Like guns and runnin' shoes
Pickup truck, huntin' ducks, and power tools

Power tools (Power tools)
Power tools (Power tools)
Yeah, just plug 'em in the wall and
Think of all you can do!
You can plant a garden, fix your car
Build a house, if you want to
If you got the proper power tools
(Power tools) hello, emergency room?
Yeah, I just fired up my new
Gas powered weed whacker there
And somehow or another it got caught in the
Hammer loop of my Big Smith overalls
Yeah, before I could get her
Set down she plumb screwed
Me about three foot in the front lawn there!
Yeah, my wife hollered out
The front door, "Hey
Shorty! While you're down there how 'bout
Checkin' the fescue for aiphids"
Huh! She's a real comedienne
That woman! Hardy Har Har!

Well, some folks say that macho
Men use tools to compensate
For a decline in virility
Now I thought about that and wait!
There may be some validity in
What those people say
But in my case it's the only way
I get to go outside and play!
Boy, I love this stuff!

Hello, 911?
Yeah, I was just in the garden there
Tryin' out my new direct-drive rototiller
When the rawhide lace from my
Red Goose work show somehow
Or another got tangled in
That outboard tiller tie
Yeah, before I could get her shut
Down she plumb drug me
Clean across the lawn up underneath
The neighbor's Toyota 4X4!
Wife hollered our the door, "Hey
Shorty!" Funny how a name will
Stick with you like that "Hey, Shorty
If you're gonna play Mr goodwrench looks like
You'd fix our old jalopy first!"
I tell you that woman's
A regular Rosanne Barr

Well 911 rescued me, carried me away
To the local hospital
For at least a two week stay
The doctor said, "I hope
You've learned your lesson
Thanks to power tools you're nearly dead!"
I didn't hear a word he said
I was playin' with my power bed!
Power tools (Power tools)
Power tools (Power tools)

Hello, nurse's station?
Could you send someone to room 403? Quick!
Yeah, my power bed's stuck
In the up position
I'm folding up in here like a big taco!
Ow! Ow!

Yeah, if you got the proper power tools!

Hello, honey? Don't be alarmed
Just quietly evacuate the neighborhood and
Call the bomb squad!