Ray Stevens - Three-Legged Man lyrics

Well, my friends, you'd never guess it
So I really must confess it
I just met the sweetest woman in my
Long and dismal life
But a friend of mine said "Buddy
Just in case your mind is muddy
Don't you know that girl you're fooling with
Is old Peg-Leg Johnson's wife
And old Peg-Leg's big and mean
And tough and grim yeah, and he'll brain you
With his artificial limb"

But next morning, bright and early
I stole old Peg-Leg's girlie
And I also took his wooden leg
Just to play it safe
But there weren't no time for laughter
'cause he started hopping after
Now I keep on running faster but
He won't give up the chase
So now I'm running 'cross the
Country with his bride
And I got his wooden leg right by my side
Now I'm a three legged man
With a two legged woman
Being chased by a one legged fool
Oh, he's hoppin' and he's floppin'
But he shows no signs of stoppin'
I tell you, boys, this life is hard and cruel

'Cross the deserts and the valleys
Those ol' dark Chicago alleys
'Cross that mighty Mississippi to
The hills of Caroline
'Cross the mountains of Montana through
The swamps of Louisiana
Every time I look back
He's just one leg behind
And I know he must be cold and wet and sick
But in spite of all his woes
He still can kick

Now I'm a three legged man
With a two legged woman
Being chased by a one legged fool
Oh, he's hoppin' and he's floppin'
But he shows no signs of stoppin'
I tell you, boys, this life is hard and cruel

Now he's ragged and he's filthy
And I'm feeling kinda guilty
'Specially in the evenings when I
Hear him plead and beg he says, "In spite of
All your stealing, friend
I bear you no hard feelings
You can keep the blamed old woman
Just give me back my leg
'Cause although that leg you meant
To take was wooden
In the dark, by mistake, you took my good'un"

Now I'm a three legged man
With a two legged woman
Being chased by a one legged fool
Oh, he's hoppin' and he's floppin'
But he shows no signs of stoppin'
I tell you, boys, this life is hard and cruel
Yes, I'm a three legged man
With a two legged woman
Being chased by a one legged fool
Oh, he's hoppin' and he's floppin'
But he shows no signs of stoppin'
I tell you, boys, this life is hard and cruel