Ray Stevens - Too Drunk to Fish lyrics

Now me and Harold this buddy of
Mine decided that we'd go fishin' one time
So we drove to the lake with
My brand new bass boat i
Brought the fishin' poles the pork
And beans the saltine crackers
And the canned sardines
And Harold brought all the booze one man
Could tote while I loaded the boat and
Filled the tank and tried to
Get that motor to crank
Harold just sat there sippin' on a longneck
Beer while I was steerin' the boat
And tyin' the plugs he was
Drinkin' moonshine straight from the
Jug and he was
Singing "Melancholy Baby" when we
Left the pier, huh, huh

Oh, never go fishin' with a
Man who has been drinkin'
Cause things just might not work
Out like you'd wish
Just leave that fool at home to drink
He'll be just as happy fishin'
In the kitchen sink
Don't go near the water with a
Man too drunk to fish

Well, I was concentratin'
Perfectin' my cast, hopin' to land a
Trophy bass and Harold was havin' trouble
Tryin' to find the lake
Layin' there beside him at his feet
Was an anchor line coiled up real neat
Harold saw it went white as a ghost and
Hollered "Snake!" Well
He jumped straight up and began to
Yell i said "Sit down Harold and
Behave yourself can't you see
That ain't nothin' but a piece
Of rope" Ha, hawell, he was
Scared to death
Plumb out of his mind tryin' not
To get bit by that
Anchor line and he grabbed my shotgun blew
A hole in the bottom of
The boat (blam! Harold! Glupglubglub)

Never go fishin' with a man
Who has been drinkin'
Cause things just might not work
Out like you'd wish
Just leave that fool at home to drink
He'll be just as happy fishin'
In the kitchen sink
Don't go near the water with a
Man too drunk to fish recitation
Now too drunk to fish is too drunk
To swim so I was dog paddlin'
And draggin' him and finally made it to
A little sand bar just big
Enough for two it was way after
Dark when that helicopter came with
That big searchlight and callin' our names
And Harold looked up to
The sky and said, "Lord is that you?"

And then he knelt there in that
Heavenly glow and said "Lord you
Know I ain't ready to go so
If you pass me by tonight, ohi will
Reform" Then they threw down a raft and
I paddled us home he never
Touched a drop from that moment on
Ya know the Lord works in
Mysterious ways his miracles to perform

Never go fishin' with a man
Who has been drinkin'
Cause things just might not work
Out like you'd wish
Just leave that fool at home to drink
He'll be just as happy fishin'
In the kitchen sink
Don't go near the water with a
Man too drunk to fish
Don't go near the water with a
Man too drunk to fish