Ray Wylie Hubbard - Conversation With the Devil lyrics

I had a dream last night I was
Cast into hell by a jealous God
The Devil walked up and said
"You don't need no lightning rod
"It hardly ever rains down here
I can't recall the last storm
"You ain't gonna need that leather jacket
It gets kinda warm "There's one way in
There's no way out it looks
Like you're here to stay
"Oh, the place is a mess, it's overcrowded
More are coming in everyday"

I said, "Aw man, wait a minute
There's got to be somethin' wrong
"I ain't a bad guy
I just write these little songs
"I always pay my union dues
I don't stay in the passing lane"
And he said
"What about all that whiskey and cocaine?"
I said, "Well, yeah
But that's no reason to throw me in hell
"'Cause I didn't use the cocaine to get high
I just like the way it smells"
He said, "Come on over here, son
Let me show you around

"Over there's where we put the preachers
I never liked those clowns
"They're always blaming me for everything
Wrong under the sun
"It ain't that hard to do what's right
It's just maybe not as much fun
"Then they walk around thinkin' they're
Better than me and you
"And then they get caught in a motel room
Doin' what they said not to do"

"Now all the murderers and the rapists
They go in this fiery lake
"As well as most of the politicians
And the cops on the take
"And all the mothers who wait 'til they
Get to K-Mart to spank their kids
"Instead of showin' 'em what
To do what's right
They just hit 'em for what they did
"And all the daddys who run off
And abandon their daughters and sons
"Oh, anybody who hurts a child is
Gonna burn until they're done"

"Everyone is down here, " I said
"who's up in heaven with God and the Son?"
"Oh, some saints and mystics and
Students of Metaphysics 101
"People who care and share and love
And try to do what's right
"Beautiful old souls who read little stories
To their babies every night
"What you won't find up in heaven
Are Christian Coalition
Right-wing conservatives
"Country program directors
And Nashville Record executives"

"Now, " I said, "I've made some mistakes
But I'm not as bad as those guys
"How can God do this to
Me? Can't she sympathize?" he said
"You're wrong about God being cruel and mean
"Oh, God is the most loving
Thing that's never been seen"
I said, "Hot Shot
Tell me this: which religion is the truest?"
He said, "They're all about the same:
Buddha was not a Christian
But Jesus would've made a good Buddhist"

Well I thought about my future
I didn't seem to have much of one
I looked around to leave but there
Was no place to run i said
"I don't suppose I could go
Back and try livin' again "You know
Like reincarnation––I hear that's the
Way it's always been"
"I can't answer that, " he said
"you're gonna have to wait for that response
"But it ain't any more unusual to be born
Twice than it is to be born once"

Well it looked like I was
Gonna be stuck here, as far as I could tell
I thought I might as well suck up you know
What the hell? I said
"You know that song that Charlie Daniels did?
"About how you went down to Georgia
And played fiddle against that kid?"
He said, "yeah, it broke my
Heart but, you know, what're you gonna do?"
I said, "To tell you the truth
I thought your solo was the
Better of the two"

Well, then I woke up and I
Was lyin' in my bed
I ran upstairs and kissed my little
Boy on his sleepin' head
I took this dream as a sign from God
So I thought I'd better pray:
I said, "Don't ever speak to me directly
And thanks anyway"
Now so much has changed about me besides
Me just givin' up red meat
Some get spiritual 'cause they see the light
And some 'cause they feel the heat