Stacey Kent - Waiter, Oh Waiter lyrics

Waiter? waiter? waiter?

Waiter, oh, waiter, please, come to my rescue
I cannot understand a word that's
Written on this menu
Not that I'm unaccustomed to this
Kind of smart cuisine
But what you've handed me is in
A language I've never seen

And the way my companion here
Keeps gazing over at me
Makes me feel like I'm drifting further
And further out to sea
Everything looks so frightening
Everything here looks so nice
Oh, waiter, please, waiter!
I really need your advice

Waiter, oh, waiter, I feel so embarrassed
If this is really french it's not
The kind they use in Paris
What is this crab and lobster
Foam? What's in this cassoulet?
While my companion's so at home
So terribly au fait

I need some words of wisdom I
Need you to take my side
For very soon I know will
Come the moment to decide
Won't you help me through this menu
Won't you please, just catch my eye
So waiter oh, waiter!
Please help me out tonight

Underneath that stiff tuxedo you
Must be human too
You'll have had your days of heartbreak
And days when your dreams came true
So, waiter oh, waiter!
Please help me out tonight

Waiter, oh, waiter please, come to my rescue
Oh let this be the sort of
Thing your service can extend to
Not that I'm unaccustomed to this
Kind of smart cuisine
But this menu is as baffling
As anything I've ever seen

And the way he looks across at
Me with his sardonic gaze
Makes me feel I'm drifting further
Out into the choppy waves
Everything looks so frightening
Everything here looks so nice
Oh, waiter please, waiter!
I really need your advice

Underneath that stiff tuxedo you
Must be human too
You'll have had your days of heartbreak
And days when your dreams came true
So, waiter, oh, waiter!
Please help me out tonight