Team StarKid - Bah Humbug! lyrics

Long ago in London 1800-something
12 24 the day before Christmas

There's a greedy old geezer named Ebenezer
A mean man of money and of business

He never laughs and he's never smiled
He's a total dick to man, woman, and child
And a total jerk to Bob Cratchit his clerk
He hates Christmas and he hates fun
And he really hates you, he hates everyone
The only things he doesn't hate
Are making money and work

And if you say "Happy Holidays"
Hе'll shout his favorite phrase

Bah Humbug!

Bah Humbug!

Therе's no meaner dude than Ebenezer Scrooge

Bah Humbug!

Bah Humbug!

If you see his frowny face
Just turn and run away
'Cause he's gonna come and ruin your day
There's no meaner dude, than Ebenezer Scrooge

So Scrooge is working
And his clerk is clerking
When in walks Fred, Scrooge's nephew

Hi Scrooge, Merry Christmas

What the hell is this?

Merry Christmas uncle, God bless you!

What's so "merry" about it, Fred?
Aren't you still super poor? Aren't
You still in debt?

Well what's so shitty about it, Scrooge?
You're still rich

Hmph

Uncle Scrooge, I'm just saying "Hey"
And inviting you to dinner on Christmas Day
You're my family even though
You're a total dick

Scrooge looks at his nephew's face
He knows the perfect thing to say

Bah Humbug!

Bah Humbug!

Christmas with you and your wife?
I'd rather take my own life bah Humbug!

Bah Humbug!

Goodbye, good afternoon

Okay, I love you too

Fred, he's not surprised he always knew
There's no meaner man than Ebenezer Scrooge

Just then

Two men

Come up to the door

Requestin'

Collectin'

Donations for the poor
They don't know that Scrooge is greedy
That he doesn't care about the needy
So they ask old Ebenezey
"Please show some love"
Scrooge kicks them out with a big old

Bah Humbug!

Here's my man, Bob Cratchit
Wrapped up in a warm jacket
'Cause Scrooge keeps the
Place freakin' freezing

Um, Mr scrooge, sir? Not to be rude, sir

Goddamnit Cratchit, start speaking

Well you see, my family
They're kind of a real big deal to me

His words trails off in a voice
Timid and soft

And I was thinking
Since tomorrow's Christmas
And generally a pretty slow day for business

Let me guess Bob, you'd like tomorrow off?

Y-yes, sir

So let me get this straight
You don't work, but still get paid?
Why don't you just rob me, Bobby?
Or steal food from my plate?
You're lucky I'm so understanding
Even though you're so demanding
Okay, have your way
Come in early the following day!
But before you go, please, wait
There's something I need to say bah Humbug!

Bah Humbug!

Bah Humbug!

Bah Humbug! The sun goes down on London town

Scrooge closes up and he heads out

Bah Humbug!

Bah Humbug!

Bah Humbug!

Bah Humbug!

He gets back home but doesn't know

This Christmas, he won't be alone
And though the day is done
Scrooge's tale has just begun
Let's see how he does this Christmas
'Cause it's the story of
The meanest man there ever was

Bah Humbug!

Bah Humbug! The rudest dude you ever knew

Bah Humbug!

Bah Humbug! The crabbiest
Scumbaggiest

Bah Humbug!

The grouchiest the frowniest

Bah Humbug!

The angriest hater the crankiest neighbor

Bah Humbug!

The greediest geezer the cruelest creature
No one meaner than Ebenezer Scrooge!