Team StarKid, Corey Dorris, Rachael Soglin, Jaime Lyn Beatty, Lauren Lopez, Jeff Blim, Joey Richter - Independence! lyrics

Get excited everyone because here we are!
The place where our great trail begins!

Where's that, dad?

You're in Independence!

Welcome to the city so pleasing
That everyone's leaving fuck it, go west
Watch your backs the city is bustlin'
With all kinds of hustlin' and grit, go west

For Independence
Here are just a few things you should know:

Stay on the trail or you might get lost
Don't pay the toll, not worth the cost
Marry rich so ya don't die poor
A bankers' best, but ya might die bored
And independent

Take a gander, kids! Independence, Missouri

Hi! I've got dysentery! You will
Too unless you stop
To rest frequently my wife and kids all died
But, if I pull through
I'll travel at a steady pace from now on

What's dysentery, dad?

Nothing we'll ever have to worry about, son

Don't push your ox too hard
Drive it too fast and you'll end up at the
Lame-footed animals then you'll have
To kill them

I don't ever wanna kill an animal, dad

You won't have to, son

Did you know that the first
Stop on the trail
Fort Kearney was built by the US army
To protect those bound for Oregon?

I did know that!

Ah, thanks for the advice and facts see kids?
Not only is the trail to Oregon fun
It's also fun and edu ma-cational

There's lots to learn
Which kid is your favorite?
Not all of them make it of course, sinkholes

A nine-month dirge every marriage is tested
Thank God they invented divorce, trending
In Independence
Here's a piece of free advice for you:

Before you go the General Store
Has all you need and plenty more
For your IN-D-E-pendence

Hi! Welcome to the general store, I can fix
You up with what you need: food, clothes
We even got a sale on wagon
Tongues- whatever the hell those are

Actually sir
We're doing this trip on a budget

You know what? I like you
So let me tell you what I'm gonna
Do: I'm gonna give you one wagon
For the price of two, not a penny less!
And for an extra fifty bucks
I'm gonna throw in an ox for free!

A free ox! Oh boy!

We're all friends there's no war a-brewing
No one's abusing their rights to own an

Ox like me!

You'll need a full yolk

Their love and care is no joke

It's a job of your love

Independent!

I pride myself on being a very good ox owner
Our love is perfectly normal

Moo!

Here are just a few rules to live by

For your independence!

Don't say sorry to your Indian guide
They're not prepared for genocide
You might die of cholera and
You might die of pain
But that's okay 'cause you'll
Probably get laid

By your mom and dad and little kids too
'Cause you all have to share the same bedroom
Use your kids as tourniquets
'Cause they won't help when you're bit

By a bear! Or a snake!
Mother Nature's really great

When you're out there on the Oregon Trail
Feels like you are going to fail
But don't give up too soon
The world is your saloon

Um, Mom, i don't mean to be a buzz-kill but
Do you ever get the idea that
Maybe this trip isn't gonna be as fun
Or "edu ma-cational" as dad says?
Like maybe you might die or grandpa or dad?

Well, if grandpa dies, that's just
God's will trust me, kids

(sung) there's a place for us
In a house out west it's Oregon or bust
To save the family crest

That's the promise of the valley
Leave all this behind
Lord have mercy on my soul
As I try to lead the blind!

Chin up kids your family's united

I guess I'm excited

Oh, I'm so excited I pooped myself!

Let's go where the gold rush is soaring

Let's go exploring our independence!

Be prepared to take your life
With an arrow or a hunting knife
Stop and see Fort Laramie
There's nothin' to see
But you'll have to pee

Do you understand 'cause you look confused
Take a look at scenic mountain views
Stay away from Old Man Bridger
When he's drunk he'll take your liver
Life is not a petting zoo
Or you'll get ripped in two

By a

Bear! Or a snake!
Mother Nature's really great

Staying alive can be lots of fun
Be sure you have a loaded gun
Something will go wrong
The list is far too long

Declare your independence
Declare your independence
Declare your independence declare your

I!

N!

D!

E!

P!

E!

N!

D!

ENCE!

Diphtheria, leukemia, onomatopoeia
All the same 'cause it gives you diarrhea
Runaway thieves are on the lamb
Leave them up to Uncle Sam

Don't stress take a breath
It might just be your last!

Friends don't let friends ford the river
Take a ferry!

For your IN-D-E-pendence

Time to hit the road!