The Dubliners - Humpty Dumpty lyrics

Have you heard of one Humpty Dumpty
How he fell with a roll and a rumble
And curled up like Lord Olofa Crumple
By the butt of the Magazine Wall

Of the Magazine Wall hump, helmet and all?
He was one time our King of the Castle
Now he's kicked about like
A rotten old parsnip
And from Green Street he'll be
Sent by order of His worship
To the penal jail of Mountjoy

To the jail of Mountjoy! Jail him and joy
He was fafafather of all schemes
For to bother us slow coaches and immaculate
Contraceptives for the populace
Mare's milk for the sick
Seven dry Sundays a week
Openair love and religion's reform

And religious reform hideous in form
Arrah, why, says you, couldn't he manage it?
I'll go bail, me fine dairyman darling
Like the bumping bull of the Cassidys
All your butter is in your horns

His butter is in his horns butter his horns!
Hurrah there, Hosty, frosty Hosty
Change that shirt on ye
Rhyme the rann, the king of all ranns!

We had chaw chaw chops, chairs, chewing gum
The chicken pox and china
Chambers universally provided by this
Soffsoaping salesman
Small wonder He'll Cheat E'erawan
Our local lads nicknamed him
When Chimpden first took the floor

With his bucketshop store down Bargainweg
Lower

So snug he was in
His hotel premises sumptuous
But soon we'll bonfire all his trash
Tricks and trumpery
And 'tis short till sheriff Clancy'll
Be winding up his unlimited
Company with the bailiff's bom at the door

Bimbam at the door then he'll bum no more
Sweet bad luck on the waves
Washed to our island
The hooker of the hammerfast viking
And Gall's curse on the day when Eblana bay
Saw his black and tan man-o'-war

Saw his man-o'-war on the harbour bar
Where from? Roars Poolbeg cookingha'pence
He bawls donnez-moi
Scampitle, wick an wipin'fampiny
Fingal Mac Oscar Onesine Bargearse Boniface
Thok's min gammelhole Norveegickers moniker
Og as ay are at gammelhore Norveegickers cod

A Norwegian camel old cod he is, begod
Lift it, Hosty, lift it
Ye devil ye! Up with the rann the rhyming
Rann!

It was during some fresh water garden pumping
Or according to the Nursing Mirror
While admiring the monkeys
That our heavyweight heathen Humpharey
Made bold a maid to woo

Woohoo, what'll she doo!
The general lost her maidenloo!

He ought to blush for himself
The old hayheaded philosopher
For to go and shove himself that
Way on top of her
Begob, he's the crux of the catalogue
Of our antediluvial zoo

Messrs billing and Coo noah's larks, good as
Noo

He was joulting by Wellinton's monument
Our rotorious hipppopopotamuns
When some bugger let down the
Backtrap of the omnibus
And he caught his death of fusiliers

With his rent in his rears give him six
Years

'Tis sore pity for his innocent poor children
But look out for his missus legitimate!
When that frew gets a grip of old Earwicker
Won't there be earwigs on the green?

Big earwigs on the green
The largest ever you seen

Suffoclose! Shikespower! Suedodanto!
Anonymoses!

Then we'll have a free trade
Gaels' band and mass meeting
For to sod the brave son of Scandiknavery
And we'll bury him down in Oxmanstown
Along with the devil and Danes

With the deaf and dumb Danes, and all their
Remains

And not all the king's men nor his horses
Will resurrect his corpus
For there's no true spell in Connacht or hell