They Might Be Giants - You Are Old, Father William lyrics

You are old, Father William
The young man said
And your hair has become very white
And yet you incessantly stand on your head
Do you think, at your age, it is right?

In my youth
" Father William replied to his son
I feared it might injure the brain
But now that I'm perfectly sure I have none
Why, I do it again and again

I am old, I am old
I will tell you again I am old

You are old, said the youth
As I mentioned before
And have grown most uncommonly fat
Yet you turned a back-somersault
In at the door
Pray, what is the reason of that?

In my youth, said the sage
As he shook his grey locks
I kept all my limbs very supple
By the use of this ointment
One shilling the box
Allow me to sell you a couple?

I am old, I am old, It's a statement in fact
I am old

You are old, said the youth
And your jaws are too weak
For anything tougher than suet
Yet you finished the goose
With the bones and the beak
Pray, how did you manage to do it?

In my youth, said his father
I took to the law
And argued each case with my wife
And the muscular strength which it
Gave to my jaw
Has lasted the rest of my life

I am old, I am old
There's not much more to say I am old

You are old, said the youth
One would hardly suppose
That your eye was as steady as ever
Yet you balanced an eel on
The end of your nose
What made you so awfully clever?

I have answered three questions
And that is enough
Said his father "don't give yourself airs!
Do you think I can listen
All day to such stuff?
Be off, or I'll kick you down stairs!

Down stairs, Down stairs
Be off, or I'll kick you down stairs!