Tonedeff - Control lyrics
[Tonedeff - Control lyrics]
Stay no, don’t go away come close
When I say what I want’s not the
Same as what I’ve done oh, no
It’s coursing through my veins
Coursing through my veins i’m out of control
I can never tell when it’s over
When I say what I want’s not the
Same as what I’ve done oh, no
It’s coursing through my veins
Coursing through my veins
But, I want control
The jenga pieces were fucked from the start
Cause everything that I touch falls apart
There’s a faulty part of me resting
Till it gets the best of me
Let’s me reach for the structure and
Then it shoves on my arm
I expect to be late - in a rush
Cause it’s smart
And it deafens my head to negate
The buzz of the alarm though I set it
I slept through it - waitwhich
One is the mark?
And who meddled? I wrestle with blame -
While drunk up at the bar
Then I’m shredded to death the
Next day - hungover, i march
To the set of this expletive play
Of what’s known as a farce
This director resents and degrades - I
Flub all of my parts and I exit the stage
Yet I claim I’m numb to his remarks
I’m an expert in lessening in pain
I cut over the scars so the flesh that is
Left can remain untouched, pure as the dawn
But the second it festers
I rage destruction of the facade
Ain’t no guessing the recipe’s flavor
Crunched under the char
It’s excessive in plenty of ways
I’m stumped? Then I restart
Cause, If it ain’t perfection
I fade - I run towards the dark
Like there’s medicine kept in the shade
- he crumples up the art
I regressively step and the baby
Gets dumped with the water
The penalty’s heft on mistakes
Is much heavier harsh
So, when I mess up - reset the game
- and thus - never go farther
A vet to rejection and hate
I’m huddled in my guard
So instead when I’m sent a grenade
I can bump it out the park
But he tends to deflect any praise
Lumps it with the snark
My perception is - yes
I’m afraid I’ll fumble at 1 yard
I’m sweating whenever there’s bets
To be placed, stuttering over the odds
Leveraging a defensive delay
Shuffling the cards
I'm petrified of success and acclaim
He stumbles over the blocks
Every hex is accepted with grace
He’s comfortable in the loss
He projects, the trajectory’s safe
It’s control he can chart
And it's at the expense of his angst
He guns solo - it’s hard
Incessant delays does most of the harm
And when a wave of depression came
He jumped over the barge and in my dread
I was led astray and I dug holes in my yard
My ex suggested we separate
Cause, I suffocate with art
But there were many more pressing plagues
That were stuffed within our cart
And then when I checked out, I felt my brain
I shut it in response
Ain't no prep for the sense of shame
When your woman knows you've lost -
I felt dejected, my selfish ways
Had crushed my lover’s heart
And then my plus 1 departs
Like they were plucked from the ark
I temporarily end the ache with sluts
Hoes and thots on the bus home I’m starving
Cause my stomach’s full of knots
And as I slept in this bed of
Blades - he’s puffing a cigar
Cause he deceptively fed me bait
And drugged me with his charm
It’s like a sedative - hence the haze
You’re somehow absolved
Knowing there’s someone else in charge as
You plummet and you fall
I relent and self-deprecate
And publicize my flaws
Turning these lemons to lemonade
In a punch filled with straws
Everyone begs me to get a taste
It’s ugly but it’s strong
As I struggle to evolve from
A duck into a swan
Yet this devil won’t let me change
He’s sunk in with his claws
Until he collects every debt I pay
I’m stuck within these walls
I’m living within an enemy state of
Mind, but instead of a stranger
Penning these checks
The evidence states, the enemy’s name is mine
Stay no, don’t go away come close
When I say what I want’s not the
Same as what I’ve done oh, no
It’s coursing through my veins
Coursing through my veins i’m out of control
I can never tell when it’s over
When I say what I want’s not the
Same as what I’ve done oh, no
It’s coursing through my veins
Coursing through my veins
But, I want control
I’m outta control and I want you to
Know that my mind is my foe
And it vies for the throne
I’m trying to hold it inside, but it won’t
Subside and it grows
Unless I can oppose it by fighting to own
What I’ve pridefully thrown to the side cause
I’m prone to be private and closed
So, writing this tome where
I’m highly exposed, helps lighten the load
Of the lies and loathing
The size of a boulder that’s tied to me
Hope l survive to be old and wiser
Bestowed with the spite that I’m
Owed from the life that
I’ve broken - the price of
Atonement is dying alone
And I’m out of control -
And I’m driving it home
Every wind in the road is the kind
That erodes and behind me it’s broke
I stay alive going forward and
Hide from my ghosts
But this self-sabotage is a complex
Process where the conflict’s
Brought upon by my own
Impulsive thoughts and then
I’m haunted at night by them both
I was psyched to propose, so hyper with
Goals, and despite this he chose
To incite a divorce
And reclined as a drone in his stifling work
Then he cries in remorse
In a cycle of woe, it’s dividing my soul
And one side’s got to go - but i cannot
Decide if I’m the parasite or the host oh!
There’s something wrong in my head
That shouldn’t be there
I’m out of control i’m out of control
I’m out of control i’m out of control
Don’t ever change don’t ever change
Cause it won’t change no
It won’t change anyway
So you can stay the way you are
The way you are
When I say what I want’s not the
Same as what I’ve done oh, no
It’s coursing through my veins
Coursing through my veins i’m out of control
I can never tell when it’s over
When I say what I want’s not the
Same as what I’ve done oh, no
It’s coursing through my veins
Coursing through my veins
But, I want control
The jenga pieces were fucked from the start
Cause everything that I touch falls apart
There’s a faulty part of me resting
Till it gets the best of me
Let’s me reach for the structure and
Then it shoves on my arm
I expect to be late - in a rush
Cause it’s smart
And it deafens my head to negate
The buzz of the alarm though I set it
I slept through it - waitwhich
One is the mark?
And who meddled? I wrestle with blame -
While drunk up at the bar
Then I’m shredded to death the
Next day - hungover, i march
To the set of this expletive play
Of what’s known as a farce
This director resents and degrades - I
Flub all of my parts and I exit the stage
Yet I claim I’m numb to his remarks
I’m an expert in lessening in pain
I cut over the scars so the flesh that is
Left can remain untouched, pure as the dawn
But the second it festers
I rage destruction of the facade
Ain’t no guessing the recipe’s flavor
Crunched under the char
It’s excessive in plenty of ways
I’m stumped? Then I restart
Cause, If it ain’t perfection
I fade - I run towards the dark
Like there’s medicine kept in the shade
- he crumples up the art
I regressively step and the baby
Gets dumped with the water
The penalty’s heft on mistakes
Is much heavier harsh
So, when I mess up - reset the game
- and thus - never go farther
A vet to rejection and hate
I’m huddled in my guard
So instead when I’m sent a grenade
I can bump it out the park
But he tends to deflect any praise
Lumps it with the snark
My perception is - yes
I’m afraid I’ll fumble at 1 yard
I’m sweating whenever there’s bets
To be placed, stuttering over the odds
Leveraging a defensive delay
Shuffling the cards
I'm petrified of success and acclaim
He stumbles over the blocks
Every hex is accepted with grace
He’s comfortable in the loss
He projects, the trajectory’s safe
It’s control he can chart
And it's at the expense of his angst
He guns solo - it’s hard
Incessant delays does most of the harm
And when a wave of depression came
He jumped over the barge and in my dread
I was led astray and I dug holes in my yard
My ex suggested we separate
Cause, I suffocate with art
But there were many more pressing plagues
That were stuffed within our cart
And then when I checked out, I felt my brain
I shut it in response
Ain't no prep for the sense of shame
When your woman knows you've lost -
I felt dejected, my selfish ways
Had crushed my lover’s heart
And then my plus 1 departs
Like they were plucked from the ark
I temporarily end the ache with sluts
Hoes and thots on the bus home I’m starving
Cause my stomach’s full of knots
And as I slept in this bed of
Blades - he’s puffing a cigar
Cause he deceptively fed me bait
And drugged me with his charm
It’s like a sedative - hence the haze
You’re somehow absolved
Knowing there’s someone else in charge as
You plummet and you fall
I relent and self-deprecate
And publicize my flaws
Turning these lemons to lemonade
In a punch filled with straws
Everyone begs me to get a taste
It’s ugly but it’s strong
As I struggle to evolve from
A duck into a swan
Yet this devil won’t let me change
He’s sunk in with his claws
Until he collects every debt I pay
I’m stuck within these walls
I’m living within an enemy state of
Mind, but instead of a stranger
Penning these checks
The evidence states, the enemy’s name is mine
Stay no, don’t go away come close
When I say what I want’s not the
Same as what I’ve done oh, no
It’s coursing through my veins
Coursing through my veins i’m out of control
I can never tell when it’s over
When I say what I want’s not the
Same as what I’ve done oh, no
It’s coursing through my veins
Coursing through my veins
But, I want control
I’m outta control and I want you to
Know that my mind is my foe
And it vies for the throne
I’m trying to hold it inside, but it won’t
Subside and it grows
Unless I can oppose it by fighting to own
What I’ve pridefully thrown to the side cause
I’m prone to be private and closed
So, writing this tome where
I’m highly exposed, helps lighten the load
Of the lies and loathing
The size of a boulder that’s tied to me
Hope l survive to be old and wiser
Bestowed with the spite that I’m
Owed from the life that
I’ve broken - the price of
Atonement is dying alone
And I’m out of control -
And I’m driving it home
Every wind in the road is the kind
That erodes and behind me it’s broke
I stay alive going forward and
Hide from my ghosts
But this self-sabotage is a complex
Process where the conflict’s
Brought upon by my own
Impulsive thoughts and then
I’m haunted at night by them both
I was psyched to propose, so hyper with
Goals, and despite this he chose
To incite a divorce
And reclined as a drone in his stifling work
Then he cries in remorse
In a cycle of woe, it’s dividing my soul
And one side’s got to go - but i cannot
Decide if I’m the parasite or the host oh!
There’s something wrong in my head
That shouldn’t be there
I’m out of control i’m out of control
I’m out of control i’m out of control
Don’t ever change don’t ever change
Cause it won’t change no
It won’t change anyway
So you can stay the way you are
The way you are