Tonedeff - Masochist lyrics
[Tonedeff - Masochist lyrics]
Everything happens for a reason
And my reason to be's to see shit happen for
A reason - One event to the next
It's like I'm stuck at the box office
With every second my clock tosses
Into my face, smacked with a case of fate
Wasted and lost causes
I've been mocked and accosted
To the point that I got nauseous
Though my flow's been plugged
Enough to stop faucets
I've thought often about tossing this
Awesome gift to the wind
And start crossing over to
Sin with this intention
To blend that I get from within
I've protected my skin with a thin
Layer of pride and showmanship
But both my coats are ripped and I can't
Seem to decide on clothes that fit
Supposing this rap shit actually pays off
I'm wondering if it'll all be worth it
Cause this is what everyone in my
Life has ever been hurt with
This curse, this evil urge I feel for verses
Is one of my life's real perversions
I seal my curtains when I write
I feel disturbance from the light
I deal with dirt and yet I want to heal the
Earth and peel the surface
To reveal it's perfect
And words I wield with purpose
And yet nobody follows the plot
They rather hear me rock off of the top
There's pitfalls in my socks
So I walk with caution
Somebody halt the auction! Cause
My soul's on sale, and I thought I lost it
If I gotta fight for the rest of my life
Then I'm gon' turn the other cheek (yeah)
Cause, I hate the way you hurt me
But, I can't get enough of your love
And who the hell am I supposed to be?
A holy priest holding a rosary? Some type
Of bold stoic Moses of poetry?
Should I be holding heat to
Pose for the streets
A total phoney? If I said my name
Was 'Tony' would you know it's me?
Supposedly, T-O-N-E flow with ease
Over these bolder beats
But the flow's too cheap to pay for groceries
And in the throws of grief
I choke and breathe
Loaded with my parents hopes and dreams
Yet I don't know if we both believe
I scope the scene
And I'm watching these bills build up
I'm nice with a day-job
These niggas write all day and still suck
And yet they fill clubs
Sell a trillion and feel sluts i kill dubs
But, I don't have the mills
To pay for real pub
My chilled love melts on occasion
Cause brainwashed niggas only feelin'
My track if clue or Flex will play it
Who you expect to say this shit if I don't?
What? Cause
I don't wanna be extorted by some cat
Who lets cash determine his playlists
I'm searching for ways in
But entrances are sparse when
You're hard to market fuck art
Cause thugs aren't the smartest targets
And I'm not abstract enough
So it seems backpackers are acting up
And I thought it was half the battle
Just to have the love
And pack a truckload of skills
Politics are ill and yo, it's real
It seems I'm cruising
And they're still using these
Crooked stones for wheels
And when you know the deal
It doesn't evoke the most appeal
Like stolen Kosher Meals
Lemme propose a toast to heal
I've sacrificed so many facets of life
Just to achieve this
From Love & definitive reason
To trust in agreements
My family suffered a grievance when
We discussed I was leaving
Seeming substituted for tunnel vision and it
Probably crushed all their feelings
There's something appeasing in the
Corruption of demons
Feeding me vehemently lustful delusions
Of bucks from succeeding
But times up, months it's exceeded
Peeling the scabs off of
Cuts that are bleeding
Knowing I ain't had it as tough as Jesus
This shit doesn't compete or even
Touches what he did
But, will I be signed by 33?
Cause my teens were fucking depleted
Blessed with a gift
Equipped to assist in the
Destruction of heathens
But, please, would god really
Want me snuffing emcees, then?
(Ha) i must be conceited, right?
Well, I'm balanced out by
The lack of self-esteem
I've felt since I've learned how
To read & write
Overcompensation spelled relief when the
Rhyme schemes are tight
Then I feel the weight of
A cheapened life when 5, 000 people die
(SOB! SOB) Feel bad for the rap artist?
But pour your soul into something
For responses that's half hearted
Terminate relationships on the basis
Of past hardships
And then you'll see why every review's like
Another line on my scarred wrist
This light hearted voice becomes
Jailed by the darkness
It's impossible to trap my lips
When I have to spit i try to swim away
But, I keep getting dragged back in this
Come to find my arms
Automatically swimming backwards, Cause
I'm a Masochist
If I gotta fight for the rest of my life
Then I'm gon' turn the other cheek (yeah)
Cause, I hate the way you hurt me
But, I can't get enough of your love
And my reason to be's to see shit happen for
A reason - One event to the next
It's like I'm stuck at the box office
With every second my clock tosses
Into my face, smacked with a case of fate
Wasted and lost causes
I've been mocked and accosted
To the point that I got nauseous
Though my flow's been plugged
Enough to stop faucets
I've thought often about tossing this
Awesome gift to the wind
And start crossing over to
Sin with this intention
To blend that I get from within
I've protected my skin with a thin
Layer of pride and showmanship
But both my coats are ripped and I can't
Seem to decide on clothes that fit
Supposing this rap shit actually pays off
I'm wondering if it'll all be worth it
Cause this is what everyone in my
Life has ever been hurt with
This curse, this evil urge I feel for verses
Is one of my life's real perversions
I seal my curtains when I write
I feel disturbance from the light
I deal with dirt and yet I want to heal the
Earth and peel the surface
To reveal it's perfect
And words I wield with purpose
And yet nobody follows the plot
They rather hear me rock off of the top
There's pitfalls in my socks
So I walk with caution
Somebody halt the auction! Cause
My soul's on sale, and I thought I lost it
If I gotta fight for the rest of my life
Then I'm gon' turn the other cheek (yeah)
Cause, I hate the way you hurt me
But, I can't get enough of your love
And who the hell am I supposed to be?
A holy priest holding a rosary? Some type
Of bold stoic Moses of poetry?
Should I be holding heat to
Pose for the streets
A total phoney? If I said my name
Was 'Tony' would you know it's me?
Supposedly, T-O-N-E flow with ease
Over these bolder beats
But the flow's too cheap to pay for groceries
And in the throws of grief
I choke and breathe
Loaded with my parents hopes and dreams
Yet I don't know if we both believe
I scope the scene
And I'm watching these bills build up
I'm nice with a day-job
These niggas write all day and still suck
And yet they fill clubs
Sell a trillion and feel sluts i kill dubs
But, I don't have the mills
To pay for real pub
My chilled love melts on occasion
Cause brainwashed niggas only feelin'
My track if clue or Flex will play it
Who you expect to say this shit if I don't?
What? Cause
I don't wanna be extorted by some cat
Who lets cash determine his playlists
I'm searching for ways in
But entrances are sparse when
You're hard to market fuck art
Cause thugs aren't the smartest targets
And I'm not abstract enough
So it seems backpackers are acting up
And I thought it was half the battle
Just to have the love
And pack a truckload of skills
Politics are ill and yo, it's real
It seems I'm cruising
And they're still using these
Crooked stones for wheels
And when you know the deal
It doesn't evoke the most appeal
Like stolen Kosher Meals
Lemme propose a toast to heal
I've sacrificed so many facets of life
Just to achieve this
From Love & definitive reason
To trust in agreements
My family suffered a grievance when
We discussed I was leaving
Seeming substituted for tunnel vision and it
Probably crushed all their feelings
There's something appeasing in the
Corruption of demons
Feeding me vehemently lustful delusions
Of bucks from succeeding
But times up, months it's exceeded
Peeling the scabs off of
Cuts that are bleeding
Knowing I ain't had it as tough as Jesus
This shit doesn't compete or even
Touches what he did
But, will I be signed by 33?
Cause my teens were fucking depleted
Blessed with a gift
Equipped to assist in the
Destruction of heathens
But, please, would god really
Want me snuffing emcees, then?
(Ha) i must be conceited, right?
Well, I'm balanced out by
The lack of self-esteem
I've felt since I've learned how
To read & write
Overcompensation spelled relief when the
Rhyme schemes are tight
Then I feel the weight of
A cheapened life when 5, 000 people die
(SOB! SOB) Feel bad for the rap artist?
But pour your soul into something
For responses that's half hearted
Terminate relationships on the basis
Of past hardships
And then you'll see why every review's like
Another line on my scarred wrist
This light hearted voice becomes
Jailed by the darkness
It's impossible to trap my lips
When I have to spit i try to swim away
But, I keep getting dragged back in this
Come to find my arms
Automatically swimming backwards, Cause
I'm a Masochist
If I gotta fight for the rest of my life
Then I'm gon' turn the other cheek (yeah)
Cause, I hate the way you hurt me
But, I can't get enough of your love